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Insomnia And the Beginning Of Time
Contributed by
Man_On_High
on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 12:29:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
As I lay about the bed tonight,
lay void of anything that might
bring me to a social light,
I think of things nobody does.
If soft, a feather pallet dry
is pressed and sunk to the form I lie,
yet thoughts they come so wearily..
come creeping through me drearily
to curse upon my drowsy head
the veiw again...the ticking dread
of time...
A manmade thing,
that started with a rod and sand
and finished with a minute hand
did bring about across the land
a beginning and an end-
Every hour, every minute.. every SECOND I BEGIN IT!
A minipulated number made to keep me from my slumber,
made to keep me from a friend...
But it's never nearly faulted
and so I became exalted
in this Kingdom of assaulted
and the sleepless never ends.
M.O.H.
Copyright ©
Man_On_High
... [
2005-05-13 00:29:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Insomnia And the Beginning Of Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 12:56:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice poem . i liked it |
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Re: Insomnia And the Beginning Of Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 10:49:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this poem certainly did deserve a better comment than that one! (i just used an exclamation point, that means something, heh) i loved the poem because of its philosophy, and the fact that ive felt the same. people are a slave to time. even though they didnt invent it, they used it to their "advantage". it goes both ways on that issue. time is a double edge sword to me, like most things. (needs to stop seeing both sides of everything). your third stanza, stood out because of its creativity. the second stanza because of its poeticness. your beginning stanza was very effective, it made me wonder well what does he think? your fourth and fifth stanzas reminded me of the type of stuff i used to write. i didnt really like the forced rhyming in the fourth stanza, and that is all i didnt like. as for your ending, very good. it almost is ironic that in the beginning line the reader thinks you will go to sleep and at the ending line you find out that they simply cannot. but then, if i would have remembered the blasted title, i would have known better. well i hope you liked reading this essay of a comment, cheerio. |
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Re: Insomnia And the Beginning Of Time
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th November 2005 @ 09:24:50 PM AEST
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GRRRRRRRR .... my computer keeps freezing on me and
losing everything. *the gods are working against me tonight ....*
sorry ..... ahem! lol
Gosh...how on EARTH did this slip by?How I DO relate to this ...
Impressive write, dear Billy, as always. This is one I shall keep and
re-read as it is so very topical to me right now. How you do touch
on the magnificent often, sweetest. And it doth stir the most
rigid of souls ...
~Breezy
(posting before this is ALSO lost ... ) |
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