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And Beauty Kissed Me Goodnight
Contributed by
AndBeautyKissedMe
on
Thursday, 12th May 2005 @ 04:34:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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closing my eyes enter i other wordly praise
i see her my angel my sweet darling of bliss
surrender i into her precious arms her sea of ecstasy i dwell
o my heart scarcely holds all this joy everlasting within
every colour within her heart is a heartbeat from heaven
and beauty kissed me goodnight...
Copyright ©
AndBeautyKissedMe
... [
2005-05-12 16:34:56] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: And Beauty Kissed Me Goodnight
(User Rating: 1 ) by girltranscended on
Tuesday, 23rd August 2005 @ 12:10:10 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Hi -
I really like what u have wriitten here. Especially I like "closing my eyes enter i".
In my little 'ol opinion I recommend dropping the "i dwell" in the 3rd line & the "within" from after everlasting. Maybe even add INTO before other in the first line. But regardless of all that - YOU really have something here. Your screen name is what drew me in ... A pleasant surprise to find a poem of the same name.
How pleased you seem - and how wonderful. Everlasting joy within!! So very nice. Great job and thanks for sharing.
:) |
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