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I walk to be forgotten
Contributed by
orangemen566
on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 07:47:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
As I walk to be forgotten,
In this so called life,
I'm going further into my shadows,
Losing every last breath,
Just to try and suceed,
Which I will never do,
So as I go further,
I begin to see the darkness of death,
Cold, Lost, Broken souls,
That lie about this forsaken earth,
That people call "life"
I'm tired of screwing everything up,
I just want to try something right,
Will I ever have the chance,
To become helpful,
All I am now is a,
Hated, rejected individual,
I will just keep walking,
Walking to be forgotten.
Copyright ©
orangemen566
... [
2005-05-11 19:47:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I walk to be forgotten
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 10:56:08 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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this is a sad way to feel :(
'i walk to be forgotten'
tremendous line! |
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Re: I walk to be forgotten
(User Rating: 1 )
by dthwlkr on
Sunday, 15th May 2005 @ 11:34:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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its a great write and so nearly perfect that i have absolutely nothing to recommend
it flows perfectly,has a clear dimension,the lines are in the logical sequence,the idea has been portrayed beautifully but i guess it could have been longer and try rhyming, its tough and sometimes just to rhyme you end up changing the very essence of the line/s(i talk from experience) try it if u feel,but thats entirely ur choice and this does remain one of the best i've read on this site
KEEP WRITING |
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