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KILLING FIELDS
Contributed by
kydistortion69
on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 01:03:53 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
BLACKENED FIELDS OF CHARRED EARTH FLOWING IN STREAMS-
CHARCOAL SMOKE FILLED SKIES ROLLING OVER BLOOD RED DREAMS-
ENDLESS MASSES OF DEATH AND INFECTIONOUS DESEASE-
SCATTERED AMONG ASH AND BEGGING TO BE FREED-
DARKNESS ALL AROUND NO LIGHT STRONG ENOUGH TO SHINE-
ALL HOPE FOR A PROMISED LAND LIES BLEEDING IN PILES-
DEATH TRIUMPHANT IN IT'S CONQUEST TO FULLFILL A PROPHECY-
LAUGHTER BURNS THROUGH THE FIELDS CHALLENGING THE LIGHT'S PLEA-
ASH AND SMOKE ARE ALL THAT REMAIN IN A ONCE HALLOWED PLACE-
CLAIMING IT'S UNHOLY RITES AND CHOKING ANY HOPE WITH HATE.
Copyright ©
kydistortion69
... [
2005-05-11 01:03:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: KILLING FIELDS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 02:17:56 AM AEST
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A rather dark write, very metaphoric in description and expression, particularly emotive.
The message is clear, yet the use of caps distracted me a little. Regardless, I thought you have composed a great -analogy-filled- piece, complete with hostility and soul.
Excellect use of imagery and rhyme.
I particularly liked "CHARCOAL SMOKE FILLED SKIES ROLLING OVER BLOOD RED DREAMS".
I'm not sure, yet does this write link with Christianity?
Reminds me of famous images produced of the scene of crucifiction.
And interesting write!
Stellar work!
:)
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Re: KILLING FIELDS
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kyarn on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 02:44:25 AM AEST
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Dark, lots of imagery, well written. Descriptive.
Nice job. |
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Re: KILLING FIELDS
(User Rating: 1 )
by bear on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 03:01:45 AM AEST
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I enjoyed reading this. I was in Iraq for about 6 months. There was nothing but death and killing. Great writing.
john |
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Re: KILLING FIELDS
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 06:18:27 AM AEST
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Honestly, I think that this is alot better than your other poem that I commented on.
I’m not saying your other poem isn’t great cuz it is and I really like the way you’ve taken to, 2 different styles of writing, still using deep imaginational truth that decays our innards with hateful disgust.
I think it’s amazing how you can write like this!
But I like this one more because this one rhymes are flows better than your other one.
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