|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
On Broken Nails
Contributed by
Jimmato
on
Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 11:19:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Spidering under the doorframe
Creeping on broken nails
The light edges its way forward
To banish my solitude
I sat in blissful darkness
Without color and no hue
My obolisque of blackness
Spoiled by a fluro tube
I am the shattered man
Your brightness makes me hollow
And come a time of gods and light
Its death that I will follow
Copyright ©
Jimmato
... [
2005-05-10 23:19:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: On Broken Nails
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:19:16 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| N ice poem i like it:) |
|
|
Re: On Broken Nails
(User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:20:01 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
"Your brightness makes me hollow"
Very cool. |
|
|
Re: On Broken Nails
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:55:10 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow this is dark but i really enjoyed this poem
short but to the point and the last stanza just hit me, great word use
powerful poem, i applaud u |
|
|
Re: On Broken Nails
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 02:31:43 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I feel this piece is rather symbolical.
It feels stained by mixed emotions, yet predominantly crestfallen in disposition or circumstance.
I find it interesting that you have related your feelings to that of “no hue” or color.
I also admire the concept of darkness becoming ‘spoiled’ by that of light, and question why you have chosen fluorescent light. Literally they represent an intersection of extremes.
Perhaps I am misinterpreting/overanalyzing.
“Your brightness makes me hollow
And come a time of gods and light
Its death that I will follow”
I simply adore the contrast.
A great technique of emphasis!
A celestial write!
|
|
|
Re: On Broken Nails
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 07:44:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i like this poem....well kind of. what does it mean? :( |
|
|
Re: On Broken Nails
(User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on
Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 05:42:04 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
i liked this too, short and consice, with original images.
"Spidering under the doorframe"
particularly liked that line! |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
