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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 11:02:13 AEST

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untitled

Contributed by declinefoale on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 11:13:58 AM in AEST
Topic: happypoetry

Lie down
softly on my garden
watch the grass
it blows sweatly in the cycle of the wind

Try to stand
push up, push up
don't let the sun push you back down
it might be so hot becase you let me wait

Walk around
not so fast
don't get to far ahead of your shadow
keep him with you, if just to look after your left side, thats enough for me

Take off
jump one, twice
spread your arms wider still
I let you go, I let you go free

Copyright © declinefoale ... [ 2005-05-10 11:13:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: untitled (User Rating: 1 )
by heartquake on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 04:05:15 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i liked it... it gave me the impression of a song more than a poem, but then, songs are poems after all i suppose... but either way still good... maybe it was the repititionin some of the lines that reminded me of songs... anywho, its pretty good... if you're looking for a title for it i think 'take off' or 'go free' would describe it pretty well

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