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Sprinting Her Last Race
Contributed by
sprinter27
on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 09:42:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Sprinting towards the end
Only motivation is the win
Coming in top five would be nice
But seventh sets as the final
Losing by two
Disappointing her team
Her one good thing
Has now gone bad
Her new motivation:
Run to end
Not just the race
But her existence
In this world
Copyright ©
sprinter27
... [
2005-05-07 21:42:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sprinting Her Last Race
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 09:52:27 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| in the beginning you transposed the sequence of events in a sketchy way that made it confusing even to understand with the flow you had. this seemed too simple in substance, when it could have made this more painful. for instance have you ever seen a sports movie about a championship team winning/losing that wasnt emotional? this didnt seem complex enough to make me feel sorry for this girl losing. your ending was unique, and gave new meaning to running yourself to death... |
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Re: Sprinting Her Last Race
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 10:34:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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sprints,
this is an amazing poem, i rilly like it. i too am running a losing race... like i ever win yea right... i can totally relate to this poem n i like it a lot! continue writing,
luv n hugs,
jennie* |
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