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Fallen Angel
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 10:30:42 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The angel stares at his torn wings
That lie at his feet in helpless lumps
Once the envy of all beings
Now he feels the bleeding stumps
That protrude from his back
And he realizes he is one of the Fallen
Devastated by thoughts of his sin
He calls out to God...
Even though with Him he knows he cannot win
A further realization that he is flawed
With nerveless fingers he strokes his wings
Touching each feather to begins to weep
Staring out the window at the continuous rain
And touching his back raw and bleeding
He stares at the heavens and sings a lonely refrain
Deep in his heart he knows what he is needing
A sense of hopelessness bathes him
His wings stripped and rotted by sin
The Darkness begins to steal your soul
Your once beautiful face
Turns to a sneer towards the God you debase
Your turn of allegiance eats you whole
Tormented by loneliness and emptiness
The haunting cries will always beset you
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-05-05 22:30:42]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 10:34:06 PM AEST
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Wow Joel, that was good. Amazing pictures were brought to my mind, your
words were perfect for this idea. Even in my near sleep state, I know that
this was awesome. I even went slow so I got it all. You captured feelings
I've felt before over and over - how I've fallen and made mistakes, and how
hopeless it is there. It's nice to know others understand this pain, but
it's sad to think you had to feel this to understand it.
Nice job, once again.
~Waos/Kara |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Zeldianus on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 11:00:13 PM AEST
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| this is absolutely amazing! A+++ |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 12:15:37 AM AEST
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| The tragic plight of an angel is wonderfully described..very skillful write.no doubt, It is one of your best poems.:-)venkat |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shishke_Bob on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 04:02:20 AM AEST
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| this was well writen and full of imager for the minds eye, yes I do have to agree with the others in saying that his was truly one of those that if you have felt this way it makes it all the better, your choice of structure and flow were great. sorry to say but I dont get the last two lines (please do tell.) I do hope that this is not something that you are going through now (shrugs). well better rape this up. God bless. |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 10:34:42 PM AEST
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| well joel you sought out to write a masterpiece that is well liked and you have accomplished that feat. i must say my interpretation of the last two lines is that the turn of loyality against god makes this person lonely and empty without god and his love. the haunting cries that he gives to be taken back by god will always be turned away and denied, and he will only be reminded that sometimes when you give up on your faith or change your mind and do something wrong, you cannot correct the mistake, you have to live with it. =] feel free to tell me the real meaning, joel, lol. the way i was going i could have written my own essay on the wrong ideas.... |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 7th May 2005 @ 05:54:45 AM AEST
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All I can say right now is WOW!!!!!
I can't add much with all the brilliant comments you got already.
But i will add this; this was really great Joel and im glad i got to see it.
Jane~ |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by KishaLovesCare126 on
Sunday, 8th May 2005 @ 12:10:52 AM AEST
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WOW joel... u have like me grown as a poet:) keep writing...
love,
Care |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 05:30:08 PM AEST
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Amazing write, Joel.... absolutely amazing!!
One of your best.....
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 17th May 2005 @ 12:54:12 AM AEST
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Ooh..I have already read this..O.k man..
The angel's wings were stripped and he is tormented by lonliness and emptiness..I think this lonliness never leaves us poets.
lol..I liked its read..:-) venkat |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 06:06:10 AM AEST
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| Now that, is one kickass poem. I found it to be absolutely beautiful, and the images in my head were like a movie. Each line brought a new image. Absolutely amazing work, Joel. |
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Re: Fallen Angel
(User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 03:50:14 PM AEST
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oh joel this is so sad.. but i love the rhythm and rhyme.. beautiful write.. keep it up..
xxx |
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