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Moonlight's Silhouette
Contributed by
Essentially9
on
Wednesday, 4th May 2005 @ 08:42:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Moonlight's Silhouette
Half of my heart's enshroud in moonlight
While the other half's cast in sunlight.
My heart's being torn apart into
Pieces knowing I'll never have you.
I know that the fragments will
Only break into dust particles still
Cutting deeply into me
As I live in dreams.
My eyes reflect the sorrow
Of my ever wanting better tomorrow
That never comes to be
More than a dream of reality,
Yet, I see the sorrow reflected
In the pale moonlight refracted
Through glistening tears.
Copyright ©
Essentially9
... [
2005-05-04 20:42:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Wednesday, 4th May 2005 @ 08:50:14 PM AEST
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This was not what I expected of you jen....I normally expect greatness from you and your talent but...your ending....Just made this PERFECT....AMAZING jen...I love this and the picture i got from it, is from true talent...YOU jen...Thanks again for having me waste my life on something thats worth it...=]
~Clark |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Wednesday, 4th May 2005 @ 09:03:07 PM AEST
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Essentially9
I like the picture you put in my mind.
Very good Essentially9 :)
Sinned |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheVoice on
Wednesday, 4th May 2005 @ 09:37:26 PM AEST
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Those are the saddest, most beautiful tears I have ever seen.
Great write.
The Voice
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 01:03:33 AM AEST
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If this is you it's beautiful so delicate unlike
anything i've read before, i can feel your
longing and desperations, tragic romance,
the glistening tears realy got 2 me . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 02:41:33 AM AEST
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WOW
thats all i can say. |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 06:01:56 AM AEST
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| Wow.what a perfect scene of tragedy. Jennifer, I can't find suitable words to describe its poetic excellence...very good and heart moving. venkat |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 07:05:53 PM AEST
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| lol, you coincidentally used one of my favorite phrases in the whole entire world in this poem--pale moonlight. I love that description, it's just such a beautiful description of what it's like, the moonlight. I guess I now have a little bias towards this write, lol. from the last few lines, I would consider the description you gave sort of like a rainbow at night, it's just what came to my mind. Not only that, because you painted an absolutely huge picture here--dust fragments, tearing, sunlight, the whole works. It was truly well done. Lol...when was the last time I didn't like one of your conclusions again?.... |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 09:27:33 PM AEST
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I love the line...As I live in dreams.....I also think the ending was great!
Carol |
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Re: Moonlight's Silhouette
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 6th May 2005 @ 01:11:16 PM AEST
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I agree with everyone else about the ending. That is just stunning.
I found the first stanza slightly awkward, because of the last two lines of it. I think it may be because I am not used to lines being broken in that way.
Still, it does work well.
Great write, Jen.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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