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A LOVE SO WRONG
Contributed by
bravepen
on
Friday, 27th December 2002 @ 06:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I'm not surprised u don't know what to do or say
If once you knew,you'll make it the wrong way
i'm not surprised we don't see or at least talk
i knew it will happen the second you walked
i'm not surprised everytime you calm me with a lie
but you're surprised that i'm upset!u even ask why!
im not surprised our relation is in danger
i shouldn't fall in love with any stranger
im not surprised you don't even try to call
coz i know you care more for a basket and a ball
im not surprised you promised but didn't really mean
i should expect it from a guy who was only eighteen
i wont be surprised when you tell me it's over
because i know you were a child ,not a lover
im not surprised you still dont know what u did
if u don't like this letter ,simply ,of it get rid
i should have seen this coming all along
from the begining it was a Love So Wrong
Copyright ©
bravepen
... [
2002-12-27 18:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A LOVE SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Friday, 27th December 2002 @ 06:11:18 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow this is deep, and to have to sit and wonder if you will be in his life today or later or tomorrow or not must be soo hard to bare...this has such strong wording in it, it definately will make one think about things in their own relationships if they are uneasy or not comfortable with it...thanks for sharing this one i hope all turns out ok with you and him..
.:*~*:.OreO.:*~*:. |
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Re: A LOVE SO WRONG
(User Rating: 1 )
by philly on
Friday, 27th December 2002 @ 07:07:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Hey go easy I'm eighteen... We're not all like that. As for you poetry I can tell you were feeling a lot when you wrote this. Not a bad poem at all, but keep writing. You can do more and I think you should be more descripitve and put more imagery. Use metaphors and similes. Compare and contrast how you feel and the position you are in with other things. It makes the poem seem more visual. |
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