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Suffering Shame
Contributed by
Shishke_Bob
on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 10:42:55 PM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
Suffering Shame
In suffering I tread upon
A path of bitter stones
That crunch beneath my weary feet
As I in anguish roam.
And as I think on yesterday
It grieves me still to know
This purgatory I abide
The price to fall so low.
I see you on the grassy lawn
Beneath the verdant trees
Pretend I cannot hear your voice
As you call out to me.
Your harlot’s call I answered once
And did not heed the wise
Your promises were silken screens
To hide your venom’d lies.
I sought to fill a burning need
But left a burning scar
I learned a lesson hard that day:
How awful hot dogs are.
Copyright ©
Shishke_Bob
... [
2005-05-02 22:42:55]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jane_Doe on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 10:53:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| awww... that was so pretty. I really loved the rhyming scheme. It was so beautiful. |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Shishke_Bob on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 10:55:26 PM AEST
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Sorry about this, but I just hate proccesed food.
KaBob |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 11:01:01 PM AEST
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| very good!!!!!! i liked it:) |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 12:29:31 AM AEST
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O.k.
Good work.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 06:13:26 AM AEST
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I was sucked in all the way to the last line. Here I was, wondering about some concerning new take on old morality and BANG! left field punchline, made all the better because the rest of the poem was so well constructed. Clever bugger. Thanks for making me laugh, I needed it today.
Spike |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 06:11:26 PM AEST
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Sadly enough, I must draw the line here. I like hot dogs.
But the poem DID have good structure and all that, it was just missguided.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by PoeticLicense on
Monday, 9th May 2005 @ 06:28:02 PM AEST
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Now, what have hot dogs ever done to deserve this caliber of verse? I must say I like this. It is well put.
And I agree with you, Kabob, processed foods are a lamentable thing. Keep it up. |
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Re: Suffering Shame
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 21st May 2005 @ 10:19:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Ha-Ha nice write..
Ya got me on that 1..sweet..
write on
~~~Michelle~~~ |
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