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Passing Slowly
Contributed by
eatfresh22
on
Sunday, 1st May 2005 @ 10:22:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Tick
My mind drifts to another place
My thoughts to another time.
Tock
Visions and memories invade my mind.
Emotion and heartache capture my soul.
Tick.
In havoc, I play, distracted.
In silence, I weep, depressed.
Tock.
Misery is now my comfort.
Coldness brings me warmth.
Tick. Tock.
Something is wrong.
Something is missing.
My thoughts turn to you.
And my heart breaks even further.
Copyright ©
eatfresh22
... [
2005-05-01 22:22:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Passing Slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 12:43:14 AM AEST
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this is wonderful.. ive always loved clock n' time poetry:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Passing Slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 10:44:05 AM AEST
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an amazing write. i know how you feel, ive lost too many people i care about in such little time... in a way you are entitled to depression. i hope things get better for you,
luv n hugs,
jennie* |
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Re: Passing Slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 02:59:03 PM AEST
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I pray he'll return to his old self, Carrie.
I wish I knew the words to say.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Passing Slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 04:14:58 PM AEST
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Nice write. You could feel the emotion of well chosen words. Thank you for sharing.
Whisper |
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Re: Passing Slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 05:50:36 PM AEST
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INCREDIBLY well crafted, Carrie, my love!
This is astounding!
Bravo on this great poem.
Hope life deals you some happier cards soon.
Love and peace,
Chelsea
(who is writing you a book which should be in the mail by Saturday the 18th at the latest)
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Re: Passing Slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 05:53:26 PM AEST
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*shocked that self didn't comment before, and also that he lived to correct his mistake*
Well worded, quite. The clock-sounds are unique.
I did think 'depressed' might be better replaced by a stronger word, 'distressed' was the one that popped into my cranium. The former word is just too often heard these days to really punch the reader, if y'ken what I mean.
Write more, hear?
Anndra |
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