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Ghost
Contributed by
Arty_Sydney
on
Friday, 27th December 2002 @ 12:00:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
ChildrensPoetry
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I heard a knock
on the door
and then it opened
what i saw
i could not believe
i wanted no more!
this sight of mine
i could not adore
A ghostly figure it may be
coloured like our deep blue sea
with a body i could see right through
i wish i could have just told it to shoo
It started to stare right into my eyes
just like it wanted to give me a suprise
i felt my adrenaline starting to rise
i ran in my room and began to cry
It then looked down and dissappeared
i felt like my heart was struck by a spear
After that day it started to seem
that day of mine was just a dream
Copyright ©
Arty_Sydney
... [
2002-12-27 00:00:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ghost
(User Rating: 1 ) by Olddarkme on
Tuesday, 7th January 2003 @ 07:59:41 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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This one isn't very good but considering it came from a 13 or 14 year old it's understandable. The biggest problem is that the rhyming doesn't seem natural. The flow of the poem seems to center on the rhymes and not on the overall content. The poem is also not overly interesting as it is childish (for obvious reasons) but not in a satirical way. |
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