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Trapped In Me
Contributed by
KishaLovesCare126
on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 03:01:26 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
4/23/2005
10:29 AM
Trapped inside myself,
Not able to find love’s tenderness,
Protected by these four walls,
I’ve got nothing to grasp hold of.
Unable to breathe my own air,
Some come to care,
Show me how to share,
Hurry!! I’ll run out of air.
So many secrets underneath,
How am I still on my feet?
My hands are clean,
The heart is still empty.
Screams won’t shatter these walls,
Sick and tired of having to fall,
I waste time with what I write,
Someone, somewhere please love me.
All by myself,
I thrive to be anyone else,
No more tears added to the shelf,
In spite of me I just want to be free.
Copyright ©
KishaLovesCare126
... [
2005-04-30 03:01:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Trapped In Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 05:11:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is a very good poem! |
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Re: Trapped In Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 10:03:20 AM AEST
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| Excellent write, i can relate, well done |
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Re: Trapped In Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 05:22:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"My hands are clean,
The heart is still empty"
Those two lines made my jaw drop. A
hauntingly honest poem that makes my
scrawls look like dirty rags in comparison. I
thought the second stanza wasn't as good as
the rest, but I think that was just me. I loved
the last line just wow you've really grown as a
writer.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Trapped In Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetoccasion29 on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 08:36:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| very emotional write............... |
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Re: Trapped In Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Aeturos on
Sunday, 9th October 2005 @ 05:54:34 PM AEST
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Very pure, basic emotion- which is all that is ever needed and more.
It seems as though you would do better with little rhyming- much like myself- but it really depends on what style you're most comfortable with.
-Aeturos |
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