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Debris Of The Heart...
Contributed by
mina-1
on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 07:52:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Lonely hearts lay broken
Their debris across the floor
Sharded forever
By love's encumbered flaw
These souls lay martial
Sadness dwells amidst their core
They're broken beyond fixation
For the love they once had is no more
Unable to foresee
Any future ahead
They loathe hungrily
Preferring to be dead
Time is against them
The sands of time are running out
Left like dead carcasses
Vultures circling them about
The vultures hack away
Ripping piece by piece
Gourmanding with such delight
Their ravaging won't cease
These lonely hearts erode
Amidst the desert's thirsty tongue
Mirage of an oasis
Elegy to the dead heart's are sung.
Copyright ©
mina-1
... [
2005-04-28 07:52:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 07:55:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is ur first dark poem? my gosh its AWESOME
i love the rhyme and u use brillant words
i love it keep it up |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 08:09:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very nice Sue for your first dark write. A little different to see you write about the dark side of love but it was really good. You always have such a good way of making your poems flow and the choice of words go great. Thank you for another great read and sharing your emotions with all of us. Take care and continue to write this awesome pieces. You friend…..Steve |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 09:37:48 AM AEST
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Thisis so cool welcome to the dark world Sue.lol awsome job on your first dark write.
Claps...bravo....
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 02:29:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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very nice sue a walk on the dark side
becomes u, your skills r of many . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 04:53:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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So nice to get to know you.
I enjoyed this, it was heartfelt, and made me feel the pain you instilled.
You are very talented indeed! and now that I have you in my sights, I have another that I will throughly enjoy reading and commenting upon!
Thanking you for sharing
Warm Love
ConSue |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 09:05:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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DIFFERENT,FROM THE REST OF YOURS! A POEM I WASN'T EXPECTING!! TELLS IT LIKE IT IS!!! MAYBE I'LL WRITE A DARK ONE TOO!!!!
DAN!!!!! |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by jmpy84 on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 10:17:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| interesting write but well done |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 29th April 2005 @ 07:09:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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O.K friend..its very cool..Go on with experiments on all types of emotions..
Best of luck.:-) venkat |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 29th April 2005 @ 10:57:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| very well written poem in all respects. great format with freestyle also. this was a very good poem like i said, but it did not exactly have the feel of one. but that is to come in due time of course if you want to keep writing dark poems. watch out youll start writing nothing but them...keep writing your wonderful works of art sue. |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Saturday, 30th April 2005 @ 12:44:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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great images, wickedly dark, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 09:43:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice great imagery and allusion |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 11:15:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Nice poem.
Scott |
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Re: Debris Of The Heart...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 2nd December 2005 @ 09:54:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| you r a star ,,thats why i wuvs ya,,,edd ,,brilliant poem by the way,,,, |
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