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Foot Tied
Contributed by
remy
on
Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 10:44:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
something better than appealing, running naked on the side streets
and i'll wait another time to stay the subject of a headline.
i'm fine with living in the city, dancing standing sitting
for one more precious moment to take it break it own it.
push off now please get away, could you listen to what i say?
i need something called a space and you don't want the taste.
while i've faced every new year, lived with selectable peers
it appears that this time there's only a little more rhyme.
another reason the season is trying for the worst of freaks
now i'm the only one who's not the only one tongue in cheek...
the themes ever repeating, the tones still superseding
each given thought caught today of what i'm trying to say.
could you say that they died? could you pray that mine might?
then we could move past this scene to take a phase two.
the casting call sounds still, the last minute energy pills
wouldn't run for too long at the ending of a new wrong.
along for one more take, right after this memory break
no fakes could take that in watch them all wear thin.
you know it seems that the reason is not what it could be
now i'm not the only one who's the only one tongue tied to speak...
first light i might just fight wrong right
it don't matter to me.
too thin you win i'm in begin
what's keeping your feet?
Copyright ©
remy
... [
2005-04-26 22:44:06]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Foot Tied
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 10:57:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow, i loved the creativity. that is the first thing that stood out to me. your ending was exceptional and creative as well. endings are important to me, and this ending didnt dissapoint. your substance was very well conveyed, and an enjoyment to read. and your beginning, made me interested very quickly. |
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Re: Foot Tied
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 27th April 2005 @ 10:55:13 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| I really liked your word usage. the way it all went togther some of it i had to re read twice or three times
and the flow is very smooth
an wonderful write
im looking very forward to more
sweetstranger/ |
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Re: Foot Tied
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Thursday, 5th May 2005 @ 01:26:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| I figure I'll comment on this while I can... it's awesome. I really liked how this read, nice to see ya posting here again, as soon as I get my internet back I will also... keep it up! :) |
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