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I can't take it anymore
Contributed by
Brandyx7
on
Monday, 25th April 2005 @ 02:59:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I can’t take it anymore
I refuse!
You can’t make me
I have fought my last battle
And threw up the white flag.
I give in
Society YOU WIN.
I’m tired of hiding my frown
I’m tired of pretending
I’m somebody else
I’m tired of the good side of me
There is more to it
Than just my smile
More to it
Than just my pleasant words
I have hidden myself for so long
I don’t know who I am anymore
I used to
If you were to ask me I would have said
Haley N. Fun, energetic girl… who planned to save the world.
V. fearless.. and unbeatable.
Now…
I afraid I lost myself
Along the long bumpy road I have traveled..
Maybe I lost myself in Georgia
Or perhaps Missouri?
I feel like pieces of me are missing
They have fallen into the ground
And are now buried with
Yesterday’s passion
Along with the real me.
I don’t know anything anymore
Things just got so out of control
My mind has lost the power
To feel
To think
My heart is slowing down
My brain is busting
I can’t stand to look at myself anymore
I more I do
The less I see
I’m fading
I’m surrendering
Like the sun
Into the colors of beauty
Or the eternal colors of Hell?
I have no real reason
For anything
I can’t reach out to anybody
Can’t say what I should
Can’t be what I am
How did this happen?
I always promised myself it wouldn’t
I swore
That I wouldn’t end up like that kid on TV.
I was supposed to be special
Different from everyone
I was supposed to change the world
To make people see
The truth
I used to brighten up everyone’s day
With my gracious smile
And interesting opinions
The world looked different then
There was more sun
More life
And then
BOOM
Everything turned down hill
My eyes lost their glow
My hands turned sore
My thoughts turned bad
And now I’m just like everybody else
No real purpose
No real destiny
Just trying to get through the day
Just trying to survive
Now I blend in with the crowd
Matching everyone around
My worst nightmare has turned to reality
I am no longer me
But what society makes of me
I have no choice over anything
I care too much about what
People think
I’m now afraid to stand up for what is right
Against my better judgment
Against fourteen years of lecturing
How not to fall for the crowd
How to be strong
And keep my head high
I went all of this way
Just so I could fall apart
Just so I could turn cold
Just like everyone else
Life is suppose to be full of wonder
Or that is at least what they taught me in Sunday school
Life is happy
As long as you obey the bible
And listen your heart
I now that is just a bunch of bull*****
There are no rules
At least that none anybody follows
Everybody wants what they can’t have
And destroy each other to achieve what isn’t theirs
And there are no guidelines
At least none I know of,
I wish somebody had handed me the manual.
Or at least have tried to make one up.
But the scary thing is
I don’t think my heart is right anymore
I don’t think it is mine
How could it?
It has thoughts of its own
And holds the deepest of secrets.
I have nowhere left to turn
I have tried going right
Left
Straight
And even backwards
Each road leads to a dead end
Expect the road I’m about to take
The only way out
Is through hell itself.
I will go through the fire
And blazing heat
Down the stairs of no end
And face the bastard himself
If only just to ask,
Why he gets joy,
In turning me,
Into everybody else
I will look him in the eye
Until I get an explanation
But, even I know
It’s unknown
I will never know why
Or how?
Only that it did happen.
But, it doesn’t matter
Because I’m not burning my soul
Or my flesh
My mind
Or even my heart
I’m burning the “society me”.
And to rebirth the old me
It is the only way,
The only way
To set myself free
And finally be one with my dreams
And will be forever united with the real me.
Copyright ©
Brandyx7
... [
2005-04-25 14:59:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I can't take it anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on
Monday, 25th April 2005 @ 03:28:56 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
yes i have been so mad at the world befor
that i have felt like this also. good job
keep it up:)
butterflygirl40 |
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Re: I can't take it anymore
(User Rating: 1 )
by lilschizoboy07 on
Monday, 25th April 2005 @ 08:52:19 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Sweety, you've got a talent. I too know how you feel and you're right; the only way out is straight through Hell. In fact, the next time I feel a Bloodrush, I'll give the bastard a knock for you. Oh! Great poem, but a little confusing. Watch out for that, okay? |
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