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Answer the Door
Contributed by
UnfallenTears
on
Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 01:32:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Glass walls contain a chaotic soul
My world, shattered by a violent knock
Someone's outside, beating at the door
Trying to unhinge my heart's lock
Dreaming again, it wasn't real
Drowning in the desire to be seen through a dreamer's eyes
Listening to words that mean nothing at all
Signify the bleeding silence preceding an abandoned soul's cries
Truth shakes emotional walls
Banging on the glass again... it was real
Urgency that once angered my soul
Belongs to the one solitarily surreal
Fear of the unknown becomes familiar
Crystal clear walls threaten to shatter
Tears lost in innocent sadness
In desperation, I try to remember waht really matters
Will the glass walls shatter and rain down...
Or will bleeding ecstasy find me no more?
Suffocating in choice, it will take all I have
To answer the door
Copyright ©
UnfallenTears
... [
2005-04-24 13:32:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Answer the Door
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 01:46:04 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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well written, but the lones in the second stanza maybe could have been made shorter to add impact
like this
"Drowning in desire seen in a dreamers eyes"
and
"Signifying the silence ,an abandoned soul cries"
other than that the poem was brilliant, hope you dont mind me making a suggestion? I wasn't meant to offend you.
pix xx |
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Re: Answer the Door
(User Rating: 1 )
by grim6669 on
Sunday, 25th September 2005 @ 01:21:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i like it....it's different......but i like it........and you said you re-did it because of mistakes....well............ha!........i found a mistake........you spelled what wrong....you spelled waht.....haha.........i'm just playing with you........i like your poem.keep it up!
-grim6669,
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