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The Thematic Breakdown
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 02:29:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Persecuted and abused
Worn out and wrongly accused
It’s like you formed conspiracy
For the whole world to hate me
These vital questions I do ask
In rays of lies I do bask
Acoustical voices ring in my head
You’re vernacular speech is there instead
Now portrayals of cynical visions form
While the age of death doth keep me warm
Feudalistic pressures build up inside
My chivalry now hath gone to hide
This remorseful plague that I’m forced to live
This democracy that I’m forced to give
Dark circles begin to build under eyes
My feeble mind is no longer wise
From this aching I must now run
The thematic breakdown has since begun
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-04-23 14:29:38]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Thematic Breakdown
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 03:55:25 PM AEST
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Wow.
I love this. I can relate to some of it, too.
It's sort of like you reached into my head and stole my thoughts.
Fabulous write,
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: The Thematic Breakdown
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 07:58:30 PM AEST
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i did not conspire for the world to hate you! I don't hate you! i'm on your side, remember? remember when we were best friends and always told each other what was wrong? but, i'm always here for you, girl. you know i am. never doubt to come to me with a prob. even if i'm in a crappy mood, i am ALWAYS willing to listen.
your bff,
sprinter27 |
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Re: The Thematic Breakdown
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jaycee on
Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 07:12:38 AM AEST
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| I think it was Phil.. let me hit the back button, yeah it was Phil who said it well, you did see into the heads and hearts of others when you wrote this (as well as expressing your own thoughts). Besides being a crafted thing of beauty (you are like a Michaelangelo with words) you express feelings that we can realte to, plus share in your thoughts as well. I guess that is the mark of a great poet. |
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Re: The Thematic Breakdown
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jimmato on
Friday, 23rd September 2005 @ 04:44:19 AM AEST
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| not to seem harsh, but old english in poems annoys me in modern poetry--> mainly because Im a stickler for the language and no one ever uses it correctly or entirely (eg: refering to your chivalry with my doesn't sit well with hath and doth etc) Anyhow, that asside this is a relatively good poem with nice range of vocabulary... blabla... Long story short, cheers for the good read. |
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