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The Skin of Lustful Sin
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 08:24:02 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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The Skin of Lustful Sin
Ripping me from my skin,
Tearing me from the bone,
Wounds that will never heal,
And sins that will never atone.
Your love was only pure lust
Borne by an incessant need
To break all of my trust
In the fact you wanted me.
A masochist within,
A searing touch without,
Every bit of a broken soul
Still so full of doubt.
You'll suffer each day
Thinking what could be.
You'll endure the pain
That you gave to me
With sin etched in your skin
Of all the lust within.
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2005-04-22 20:24:02]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by smiley_jennyxoxo on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 09:22:51 PM AEST
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| That's a great poem. I've been heartbroken before. I understand the pain that you must be going through, but if it's just lust, it shouldn't hurt as much as if it were true love. I've been in both, love in lust. Jenny |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by TheVoice on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 10:03:24 PM AEST
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An excellent write from you both.
The Voice
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 10:15:18 PM AEST
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A divine outstanding write from two talented people on this site. Written with sheer perfection. Absolutely flawless. A great job u 2.
Hugs,
~Sue~ |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by JacobsKK on
Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 10:23:45 PM AEST
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| One thing I believe is that the phrase "Love hurts" isn't real. BEcause love is the most beautiful thing that god gave us, and he wouldn't make it hurt. So if it hurts, it must be lust. Hang in there. Great poem. Keep writing. |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 12:44:00 AM AEST
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| wow amazing ..I really like this write.great job. |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 03:20:04 AM AEST
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you two paired well together ... well written.
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 05:57:37 AM AEST
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Jen, this was such a dark write . Great imagery and the feelings were just the bomb *im feeling silly* LOL.
You did well, im glad i saw this.
Jane~ |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 10:53:37 AM AEST
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Ohhh that was awesome, I loved it, a great poem,
pix xx |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 11:45:16 AM AEST
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| Hmmm...lol i dunno, there's something missing from this one, and I can't seem to put my finger on it. I'll note the good descriptions you've given at the beginning stanza, where the imagery was properly vivid and somewhat stylized. The story told here was quite well done, but I think the biggest problem was the conclusion, where there was little to no surprise. I guess those last two lines weren't anything new to the poem, as they were pretty much said before. This was still good, don't get me wrong here, lol but I guess i'm just really missing the impact of your great conclusions... |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 01:52:49 PM AEST
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wellll...it was alright......but ours was better.....
OK just kidding!!!
This was dark and well blended!!!! |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 07:30:50 PM AEST
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wow this is a lovely complex write you can tell youve spent time on this like its an art work with lines like 'A masochist within,
A searing touch without,
Every bit of a broken soul
Still so full of doubt.' well done this is truely superb. |
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Re: The Skin of Lustful Sin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 06:40:24 PM AEST
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Poem very elegant in it's dealing with this sensative and personal issue. Excellant write by the two of you. A loss of lust an easy replaceable commodity, but with the loss of a true love goes part of your soul.
Great poem and joint effort
Will |
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