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Morning skies
Contributed by
neoneo
on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 04:59:59 PM in AEST
Topic:
Haiku
|
Morning skies
Dark nights
Reminds me of
Night fright
This is my first to come up with.
Copyright ©
neoneo
... [
2005-04-20 16:59:59]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Morning skies
(User Rating: 1 )
by hooray_its_jen on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 05:03:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow!
I wonder how old you are, because I see some potential here.
Welcome to YPDC Valerie!
Love, Jenna |
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Re: Morning skies
(User Rating: 1 )
by bethie on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 05:06:19 PM AEST
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| just some constructive criticism, but a Haiku should be five, then seven, and five syllable. Keep plugging away. You get an A for effort. Nice. |
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Re: Morning skies
(User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 05:58:21 PM AEST
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You may be "just a kid" but you are a talented one. Keep writing.
Bethie is right. A haiku is:
5 syllables
7 syllables
5 syllables
and true haikus are about nature.
Dove |
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Re: Morning skies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mr_Jeremy on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 06:01:32 PM AEST
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"And the darkness falls in light . . . falls."
Trotsky, 1840. |
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