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Rich Mortician
Contributed by
dreamer_for_eternity
on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 02:00:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
psychoticpoems
|
The shattered glass
Upon the pavement
The blood covered wall
With death threatening engravement
The shrieking screams
Or the hollow eyes
Happiness once firmly stood
Now discovered it was all lies
A foundation of lies
Instead of being true
Used the wrong ingredient
Now forced to start anew
The corpses being carried
Far far away
I see the mortician smiling
Since now he will be paid
I step to the wall
And see the deep maroon
Still somewhat fresh
From a murderous afternoon
My finger delicately slides
Across the crimson flow
But a scream rings through my ears
And leaves a hollow echo
Turning around
To face waht has come
The mortician is smiling
And he pulls the trigger on his gun
My corpse falls to the ground
My soul floats away
Into the soft midafternoon sun
Such a beautiful day
The mortician will be paid...
Copyright ©
dreamer_for_eternity
... [
2005-04-20 14:00:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rich Mortician
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 02:05:42 PM AEST
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a Message)
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ahhhhhh chilled me to the bone with this one you should contiune with this and turn it into a mini series book whewwwwww spooky!
Id give you a plus 100 for this but since it goes to five Ill do that instead
Michelle |
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Re: Rich Mortician
(User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on
Saturday, 17th September 2005 @ 07:57:35 PM AEST
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twisted ... i like it
you gotta do something to the 3rd paragraph, it doesn't sit right
thanks for sharing |
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Re: Rich Mortician
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pianoman745 on
Monday, 19th September 2005 @ 05:30:21 PM AEST
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| i liked the dark ambience it gave off, and the moritian being a hitman/murder? cool. some really good descriptions! but some lines could be worked a little better. but all in all a good one! |
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Re: Rich Mortician
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Tuesday, 20th September 2005 @ 10:13:09 AM AEST
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dreamer_for_eternity
This could have been put under dark poetry too.
Nice interesting write.
I would say this mortician practices job security.
Sinned |
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