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The Cold Half

Contributed by TheForgottenMelody on Sunday, 17th April 2005 @ 11:28:59 PM in AEST
Topic: ambiguous



The cold's left on her side of the bed
I'd rather be torn in half instead

Than try to fill that empty space again
And struggle with my wishes to send

This detached girl back to the room
So I can feel I'm safe in a womb

If it's morning and she isn't there
I'll split everything I have in a pair

Wander to some place that she went
And cover myself with ghosts of her scent




Copyright © TheForgottenMelody ... [ 2005-04-17 23:28:59]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The Cold Half (User Rating: 1 )
by reflections on Monday, 18th April 2005 @ 11:03:29 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
You’ve posted 40 poems, received 16 comments, and commented on other’s works ONCE. Writers will not travel a one-way street that only goes to your house. You want to receive that which you do not give. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that a courtesy given to one who extends no courtesies to anyone, is wasted time.

I read several of your works. You write well, but there’s more to this game than just writing; especially when you let it be known that comments are much appreciated. That’s a two-way street. Too bad all this negative space couldn’t have been used positively with comment, and analysis of your talent.

Good luck
John




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