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Burst the blister
Contributed by
quarryking
on
Thursday, 14th April 2005 @ 03:15:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Patrick Leonard’s strings slowly fill the air
It’s half past four in the evening
Your senses slowly awaken only now
Twelve hours back and you lay in complete bliss
Sleep having taken a permanent back seat
You held onto her like it was the last time
Or like two lost people reunited after an insane period of time
And later you drive out into the city
At an hour you’ve long forgotten
A sight that’s long escaped your eyes
An experience that’s almost surreal
You roll the windows down and the morning rush hits you
Fatigue crawls up slowly behind you
You roll back home and she’s still there
But, she’s maybe left as well
A presence so strongly felt, but still not there
The imposing structure in white takes on a new meaning
Now apart from the music, it’s walls hold something equally priceless
No one would know
Amidst conflicts, changes and the constant carousel
There exists a calm and a finite comfort
Burst the blister
Copyright ©
quarryking
... [
2005-04-14 15:15:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Burst the blister
(User Rating: 1 )
by Madeover on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 04:05:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| Evocative. I like relationship poems and this was good. |
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Re: Burst the blister
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 27th August 2005 @ 05:29:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I like the feel of the poem...wonderful word pictures throughout it.
My only wish is that this was written in first person instead of second person --it would have been amore powerful poem with the word 'I' instead of 'you' throughout it. It's often easier to express feelings when one disassociates the feelings from oneself, but it's more personal and powerful when writers present the feelings of the poem as their own feelings.
This seems a very good poem to me that could have been great with a first person perspective. Even in second person, this poem was well worth the read. |
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Re: Burst the blister
(User Rating: 1 )
by vox on
Monday, 29th August 2005 @ 01:57:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| nicely done. i like the title too. x-ellent work my friend! |
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