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Storm
Contributed by
frustratedwitch
on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 11:04:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The cry of excruciating pain
Sheltered by a perilous storm
The agonizing sound tickles my ears
I stumble down on the frigid floor
Sheltered by a perilous storm
The wind blows my ebony hair
I stumble down on the frigid floor
Your eyes piercing with abhorrence
The wind blows my ebony hair
I seize it gently, holding tight
Your eyes piercing with abhorrence
My breath shallow, raspy and uneven
I seize it gently, holding tight
Your icy, trembling hands clutched mine
My breath shallow, raspy and uneven
Eyes closed, I let the tears fall
Your icy, trembling hands clutched mine
We soared high together with bruised wings
Eyes closed, I let the tears fall
I stand naked, cold and shivering
We soared together with bruised wings
You let go and watched me fall
I stand naked, cold and shivering
Alone, bleeding and no longer there
You let go and watched me fall
The agonizing sound tickles my ears
Alone, bleeding and no longer there
The cry of excruciating pain
Copyright ©
frustratedwitch
... [
2005-04-12 23:04:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by bigtig6269 on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 11:17:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| great structure. I loved how you made your first sentence the second sentence in the paragraph before. Very well written with great emotion. Keep up the good work |
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Re: Storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by RainDancer2005 on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 05:10:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very good poem. Great emotion comes from it. |
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Re: Storm
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 4th September 2005 @ 01:38:42 PM AEST
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| Great Poem |
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