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The Sun Rises in Equador
Contributed by
girltranscended
on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 12:46:23 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
I need a man to hold me tight,
one of passion, one who’s bright.
One who knows at three a.m.
I’ll just be coming to bed again.
A man who I can’t do better than,
a complimenting half to the gal I am.
One who hits more than misses
who holds my hair and lingers kisses.
I ache for the growing
for the happy, healthy knowing,
for the family and the lifestyle,
where we work and relax a while.
A man who accepts me
for the beast we all can be
who knows when I go hiding
that it’s better of abiding.
I want for the life of my dreams
to not give up for I think it seems
it can be done, this life be won,
for each day still starts with sun.
Copyright ©
girltranscended
... [
2005-04-12 00:46:23]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Sun Rises in Equador
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cupid on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 12:53:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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It looks finished to me.
This is wonderful, girltranscended.
Just wonderful! |
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Re: The Sun Rises in Equador
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 01:00:05 AM AEST
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| I really like this poem. Looks great to me :) |
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Re: The Sun Rises in Equador
(User Rating: 1 )
by electrique_poet on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 01:30:07 AM AEST
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this was very nice and did seem complete, id like to see what you add/subtract/rework to create the finished product, im sure it will shine either way
... in words electrique |
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Re: The Sun Rises in Equador
(User Rating: 1 )
by justjonesy on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 03:15:31 AM AEST
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| well im glad you posted on my poems...cuz now i get to read all these great poems....the title entrigued me and I again loved what I read....great job and I'll keep reading |
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Re: The Sun Rises in Equador
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Thursday, 14th April 2005 @ 04:27:33 PM AEST
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First, I love your screenname. It definitely touches on a "core feeling", as I would call it. Second, I love the title of the poem. Something about it seemed to encompass so much, but I can't really explain it. And Third, I thought this poem was honest.
I want for the life of my dreams
to not give up for I think it seems
it can be done, this life be won,
for each day still starts with sun.
This felt hopeful, and I felt it contrasted well with the rest of your poem, which expressed your longings and desires.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: The Sun Rises in Equador
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 09:50:11 AM AEST
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At least your dream seems within reason and not someone or something unattainable.
Honest, flowed well and did not seem rushed or unfinished.
I also think the last stanza does tie in..in the sense that it is not just hope, but patience. |
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