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Steel Saviour
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Sunday, 10th April 2005 @ 08:27:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
Stare out of depression dimmed eyes
At your distorted reflection
In the bloodstained water
Ponder the lack of meaning in your life
As you weep your endless, liquid misery
Cupping the blood that pools in your hands
And sipping it like holy communion
Wiping your bloodstained hands on anything in reach
A fake smile pasted on your pretty face
As you kiss your steel Saviour
Amidst the screaming shadows that torment
Bleeding lacerations that only permit
More demons to assault your tortured mind
Increased inability to function
Your scars a terrible reminder
As you pull further within yourself
Cherish the memories when scars
Did not imprison your soul
Numb to feeling as you bleedout
Sprinting into Death's decaying arms
You begin to weep soundlessly
As you realize you have been deceived
By your steel Saviour
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2005-04-10 20:27:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Sunday, 10th April 2005 @ 08:40:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Absolutely flawless, my friend!!! Dripping with delicious morbidity, a scrumptiously dark read, cheri Bobo. Exquisite imagery, impeccable depth, just... utterly astounding. Your talent blinds me through this dark masterpiece. It's as if you have painted a picture of death and suicide, the tempter and temptress of everyone's dreams, right in front of my eyes... A somber requiem to the heart and mind... Hauntingly beautiful, bobo. Thank you for this marvellous work of art. All my love. Forever,
Your friend/fan,
Stephy. |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tru2Myself on
Sunday, 10th April 2005 @ 09:01:31 PM AEST
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I agree! This is amazing! It gave me the shivers but made my heart jump at the same time its absolutely wonderful! wow... love it. I want more!!!
Lauren |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by spazz911 on
Sunday, 10th April 2005 @ 09:07:13 PM AEST
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| i dont see any thing wrong with this poem, it is so intense and descriptive t is almost scary great job |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 10th April 2005 @ 09:30:13 PM AEST
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| This is a very good poem, even though I have no idea what it means, but good job. |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 04:57:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Joel, this was incredible. It's dark and weird in a sense that i never saw you write like thise before.
I liked it, you're poetic talents do flourish with every new poem you do, im gonna be a fan of you're poems for years and years to come.
Janey |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 01:53:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This one gave me goosebumps. You know how to remove all the barriers and pen in a way that has no comparison. You move the reader with every emotion and your style captures the imagination on every level.
I'm impressed and I think you did an awesome job composing this poem.
It is incredible.
Kie |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 07:33:10 PM AEST
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| Very poweful. I ecspecially love the second stanza. You wrote this well. It was painful to read, relatable in many ways. Loves it!!! Good job Joel. |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Wednesday, 13th April 2005 @ 08:34:12 PM AEST
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amazing... just amazing. its like... you're describing me. i feel like that everyday. you have such a way with words... it makes it feel so real... and it is. it is real. i love it. thank you.
luv n hugs
jennie* |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 05:34:07 AM AEST
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Aww.....Holy communion & steel savior..
my goodness...you have made it a holy act..
relly giving goosebumps..though deceived at the end..you have captivated us Joel :-) venkat
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by wyrd_faerie on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 05:39:58 PM AEST
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joel, darling. this has left me with tears in my eyes. one of the best you have written...i'm struggling to find words to give to you, to tell you how wonderful this is. you have a gift, honey...
x |
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Re: Steel Saviour
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 05:05:56 PM AEST
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The power of this piece is truly amazing. Everything about this feels in place, from the title and author's note through to the last words. A surpassing job, my friend. Most moving.
Andrew |
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