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My Remedy
Contributed by
ForeverAlone
on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 09:58:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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Deep seated in misery
Sour taste of agony
Every bit of missing
My remedy
Sweet symptoms of death
Numbed tounge with nothing left
Under this head stone
I'll rest
Misconception of the pain
My life, the bloody stain
Being forever alone
With nothing to gain
The shattered and broken glass
Holding the pictures of my past
As my life fades
It'll never last
Morbid memories once buried
Arising and again uncaring
With more ache in my heart
Thats tearing
And the memories still go on reliving....
My past still shadows me,
Never forgetting the memory
Of my beloved
Remedy
Copyright ©
ForeverAlone
... [
2005-04-08 21:58:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Remedy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 10:28:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| lol, yay, i can still use my ending since this is hardly like the one i came up with. excellent poem. i loved the fourth stanza best in this piece, just because of the words in it and how you wrote it. i thought that part was very well done. your first stanza was so good that i knew that this entire piece would be amazing, afterall the first stanza sets the tone, and you set it perfectly. i liked the relation of the end back to the beginning, many poets do that, and i never tire of it. |
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Re: My Remedy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Apolla on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 10:28:17 PM AEST
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| I loved your expression and the way protrayed the images. This is a really great write and I hope you keep writing. |
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Re: My Remedy
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 9th April 2005 @ 02:13:41 AM AEST
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Sad but great writing as always.
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: My Remedy
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 16th April 2005 @ 03:27:27 AM AEST
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Same as always, great poetry!
I like the use of repetition in "remedy"..
That proved quite powerful ;)
looking forward to more, as always...
~kt |
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