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i never meant to die (can u hear its screams?)
Contributed by
bohemian_with_a_pen
on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 08:56:49 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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*
**
***
****
*****
Hungry doesnt begin to describe
the stabbing pain i
feel
i let my stomach shudder and groan
to remind me that im
real
cant you hear its silent screams?
echoing throughout the
room
listen to its pitiful cry
as it wails its haunting
tune
so empty i couldnt possibly eat
to do so would mean
death
whispering ill-gotten promises
on my dying
breath
I didnt want to hurt you
im sick of having to
lie
i wish that you could understand
i never meant to
die
*****
****
***
**
*
Copyright ©
bohemian_with_a_pen
... [
2005-04-08 20:56:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: i never meant to die (can u hear its screams?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Cupid on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 09:19:38 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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*sniff*
This is so sad....
I've felt like this before, bohemian_with_a_pen.
So you are NOT the only one.
This poem needs no editing. It's fine the way it is.
I hope that helps boost your confidence some.
You are a great poet.
But you don't know it.
I can tell by the Tennysons on your Longfellows
*hee hee*
Sorry, just a little joke there that my mom told me.
But really. You ARE a great poet.
Keep up the great writing! : ) |
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Re: i never meant to die (can u hear its screams?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 16th April 2005 @ 12:38:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A rather different piece, to the usual.
Excellent personification of hunger itself...
And a thought provoking emphasis in regards to the psychological factors which contribute to this pain...
Hunger.
Death of self...described ever so passively...stretching out -the existence of your sufferings.
An emotive write. |
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Re: i never meant to die (can u hear its screams?)
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueeyedevil13 on
Sunday, 1st May 2005 @ 12:48:24 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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this is excellent
i love it, its perfect the way it is
i know how you feel, if you wanna talk pm me.
avril |
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