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Subway Train
Contributed by
fielding88
on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 03:35:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
I barely caught the last train home that night,
After the worst day of my life.
I was rushing away from the hell of work,
Rushing to the hell of my wife.
I broke down on the subway train that night.
I had to cry and didn’t care who’d see.
My life was supposed to change for the better,
Why did I go down on one knee?
A homely man came up to me that night.
Tattered clothes that mustered up a smile.
“Now here’s a sight I hate to see,
Haven’t cried like that in a while?”
I was in no mood to talk to him that night.
I ignored him like a pest.
“It’s trouble at home, I’ve been there too.
Can I sit down and tell you the rest?”
I found friendship on the subway train that night.
His troubles compared to mine? Something worse.
“I thought life was something beautiful,
Why put up with this stupid curse?”
“Because things will get better after tonight,
And I have a happiness to feed.
When hope is all you have,
Hope is all you need.”
I found wisdom on the subway train that night…
Copyright ©
fielding88
... [
2005-04-07 15:35:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by GurlyTye on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 03:47:35 PM AEST
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| i liked it |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 04:11:49 PM AEST
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| This is a very cool poem. I used to live in New york; I loved riding the trains. This poem made a lot of sense to me. |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Overstated on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 04:41:04 PM AEST
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you can relate this type of poem to all walks of life.
this is a good poem with a lovely pace to it...excellent stuff |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 07:16:17 PM AEST
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I liked this....good write....A thoroughly enjoyable read...
Carol |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 09:32:42 PM AEST
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Eh...ah...Marc....DO you know something I don't...or is it just that your poem was cool and very youish....lol good job..
Clark=] |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 04:47:18 AM AEST
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Kudos Marc !!! A great life lesson learned ... a fabulous lesson portrayed. Well done man !!!
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 05:29:48 PM AEST
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A moving story, and well said. I much enjoyed this, and shall probably read it again.
Andrew |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 10:03:58 PM AEST
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| wisdom comes from even the wind, so why not the subway? this was excellent. i liked the message, it was a message i needed to remember actually. keep impressing =] |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dreama on
Wednesday, 13th April 2005 @ 05:37:04 AM AEST
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not to jump on the band wagon here but yeah, enjoyable read and excellent write! keep it up! good messages and tales!
Pete |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 19th April 2005 @ 12:25:03 PM AEST
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WOW!! Don't ya just love 'em when the pour out?
I think this is awsome!!!
I can really feel this one! |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 08:09:16 PM AEST
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im so happy to have read this, thank you so much for sharing, its very moving and beautiful... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on
Wednesday, 22nd June 2005 @ 06:56:57 AM AEST
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first: WOW!
now:
I see you have changed your style in writing earlier on you wrote with so much feeling and everything was just overwhelming the meaning was 500% with even more emotion and so much effort.. they were wonderful. Then you took a time where one or two of your poems had only 100% meaning (which is just as outstanding obviously) but now you've come back and you've found a mix between the two. It comes out wonderfully and I really enjoy them the message comes across along with just as much meaning but now its personal touches that are added in and this shows the talent you have: keep writing like this.
As for the poem itself (sorry to write a book here for your comment lol :) )
I really enjoyed this story theme it was very short with just the important points which fit in nicely because the ending wrapped up everything so well we didn't really need all that extra stuff in the other stanzas.
"When hope is all you have/ hope is all you need" this line is so very true and what a beautiful way you chose to share it, fantastic ending.
I'm going to get carried away here so I'm going to let you go, know that you have talent and that you need to keep writing.
Thank you for all the poems you have shared so far its been quite the pleasure reading them,
--amanda-- |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by remote on
Friday, 9th September 2005 @ 06:57:42 AM AEST
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| Beautifully captured moments in words. |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Thursday, 6th October 2005 @ 07:04:37 AM AEST
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How true... we would do well to listen to your words. Well written.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 11th October 2005 @ 09:47:21 PM AEST
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Well Marc, this is impressive. You are wise beyond your years. Our troubles always seem so big, until we hear someone who has real problems: )
I like this poem alot. Not just for the excellent words of wisdom, but the way you laid it out too...It was simple, yet profound, and the concept is a
very good one.
Now, was that the Bloor line, or the Yonge line?
Scorp ; ) |
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Re: Subway Train
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 3rd March 2009 @ 02:33:29 AM AEST
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I just randomly picked this to read tonight. Saw you signed on and thought, I'll read something by ol' fielding88. The title Subway Train caught my eyes and I am glad I stopped by. This person "found wisdom on the subway train that night . I found wisdom in this poem and found a very... very enjoyable read. Thank you for that.
Tim
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