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Simple game lost.
Contributed by
DanishPoet
on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 07:09:48 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
The rules were simple,
the game was on.
I fought to the end,
but now she has gone.
I ran to the cliffs
and screamed at the sea.
You left me forever,
Oh, why can't it be?
I would make you happy
with all the power that I got.
But it seems that I were wrong,
Your soul are gone, your eyes are shut.
My writing is the only thing,
that keeps my tears at bay.
But as long as you're not here,
happiness will never stay.
The longer I keep writing this,
the more do I regret,
that I ever started this,
'cause I can not forget.
I can't forget the pain I'm wearing.
Can't forget the love we're not sharing.
Soon this poem is hidden and forgotten.
Same is true for me, forgotten all of a sudden.
Copyright ©
DanishPoet
... [
2005-04-07 07:09:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Simple game lost.
(User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 07:13:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is heartbreaking and believe me i feel u
beautiful emotional write |
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Re: Simple game lost.
(User Rating: 1 )
by zaknafein8891 on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 08:11:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I think its great, but I did notice two gramatical errors near the middle though. |
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Re: Simple game lost.
(User Rating: 1 )
by In_a_while on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 09:17:54 AM AEST
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| That's a really good write. very strong and well written too. keep it up. |
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Re: Simple game lost.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vermilion on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 01:16:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Would this be about someone you lost to death? If it is, then I understand completely.. and it's brave of you to write about it..
A very good write. I enjoyed the power it gave out.
The longer I keep writing this,
the more do I regret,
that I ever started this,
'cause I can not forget.
- I especially liked this part. Very powerful and well written.
Vermilion
xXx |
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