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Only Then
Contributed by
fastpitchqt
on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 10:42:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
war
|
When the smoke dissolves into the air
When the gunshots no longer echo in the night
When the wounds are being mended and healed
When you and all the soldiers return home
Only then will I rest easy
I don’t want to see your face on the news
I don’t want to see your name in the paper
I don’t want to see a flag cover your coffin being lowered into the ground
I just want you to come back home
You can have the honor
You can have the glory
You can have all of it, without having to loose your life
You can have the life you dreamed of, if you just ask
I have stayed by your side supporting you through it all
Whether you wanted me to or not
A piece of me is with you
And you are a huge part of me
So I sit here wondering and worrying
How are you and are you okay?
Do you think of me half as often as I think about you?
Will you come back home safely?
When the smoke dissolves into the air
When the gunshots no longer echo in the night
When the wounds are being mended and healed
When you and al the soldiers return home
Only then will I rest easy
Knowing now you are back home safe.
Copyright ©
fastpitchqt
... [
2005-04-05 22:42:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Only Then
(User Rating: 1 )
by sarahgordon on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 10:45:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Great poem!
I really enjoyed your use of repetition and rhetorical questions.
My only critique would be to try to use more imagery and metaphor. Sometimes it helps to alleviate a poem from being just too straightforward. |
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Re: Only Then
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 12:22:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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A heart touching write expressed so well.
I too am not a fan of war and I hope and pray ur loved one comes back to u safe and sound real soon.
An emotional piece written very well. Well done
Hugs,
Sue |
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