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Eventually You
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 02:05:18 AM in AEST
Topic:
Tributes
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I stand at the edge of who you are, to
Whisper that I know it’s hard, but I can see
Beyond circumstance and truly I believe.
I believe you are holding something dear
Tomorrow’s gift from yesteryear, though
Bound for now it waits there to be freed.
I see it there behind beveled glass that
Bends and stretches each time you laugh, as
You close the door to another average day.
And some would say I couldn’t know, that
Foolish I must be to think it so, but somehow
Still I sense the beast has more to say.
He’s waiting there outside of night, in
Hope that someday soon you might, reach
Through the dark to bravely give yourself away.
And he’s crying for having waited so, but even
Through tears he also knows that time will
Move you ever a step closer to that day.
When you’ll finally cross the bridge to him, to
Break the glass and then begin all the things
That he's waited forever for you to do.
And you’ll smile a bit as will he, when he turns
Aside and winks at me as he takes a breath
And says at last, “I always, always knew”.
And as I look from him to you
Whispering still,
I'll reply
"Me too."
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-04-05 02:05:18] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by justjonesy on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 02:15:40 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I absolutley loved this one...read it a few times and it was better every time...great job |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 02:21:26 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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a RICH, FULL MASTERPEICE OF BEAUTY, TRUST, assurence-n-all good things.
what more can I say.?
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by christopherscool on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 03:54:25 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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good job, keep it up
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by outsider on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 06:41:22 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautiful |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 06:53:14 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow.
I am ecstatic that you had not chosen to wait for that glass to shatter as this is even more-so 'shattering' -or so to say!
wow.
I feel lighter than a feather.
What a tribute!
What inspiration you bestow upon your meek and wonder-filled audience.
The flow like blood through youthful veins...
The sequence mercurial yet suave like soft ridges of velvet.
Oh what colourful words.
Yes.
A beautiful awe-filled picture.
WOW... |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by pixie on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 08:00:00 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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so amazing, beautiful and written perfectly as usual
take care
Pix xx |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 11:33:06 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Well i'm smiling and thinking love is in the air....
Gorgeous poem.
Kie |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Rakerman1999 on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 01:22:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Sometimes I read your work and there are so many different ways I could take it...so many meanings possible. All , however, always add up to the same thing... Exceptional poetry from a golden pen..
Well done my friend
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by blowfish_jane on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 04:17:31 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow!!! Snemmy this was just brilliant,
Nothing more nothing less.
A really well writen poem.
Jane |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Red_October on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 04:52:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ummm....this is an excellent poem...But my heart is beating really fast and feel, oddly enough, like I am in the Twilight Zone. SNM, you have to check out my last poem, called Backwards Reflection...I think you will understand what I mean. This is so strange, it will blow you away. Tiffany J. (Red_October) |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 10:22:11 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Am I crazy, or the only one who noticed your cleverly placed rhymes. It made this melodic, in a surprising way, and gave it a lovely pace.
The content, as always is vivid and full of feeling, which I for one, especially enjoy, To be honest, this reminded me of death - but I am always the melodramatic one.
Nice one -
mj |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by freckle on
Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 11:29:05 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Aww Snemmy, your creativity is remarkable. What a wonderful write, it takes you in and wraps around you and you want it to keep going on and on...and sad, a bit, when it ends...great write!
Carol |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 06:32:07 PM AEST (User
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Very immersive! I love the expression, and the theme. I shall be reading this again, my friend.
Andrew
(loving the ending) |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by faith_my_eyes on
Saturday, 9th April 2005 @ 11:20:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Semmy.... it's a beautiful, gentle, longing... hoping, wishing...
I feel it. And I want this too. |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by girltranscended on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 10:34:43 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I stand at the edge of who you are, to
Whisper that I know it’s hard...
I see it there behind beveled glass that
Bends and stretches each time you laugh
These are really magnificent lines, and the title, don't get me started. I love it! It all works so well together. But did you notice, you are quiet either way?
*wonders how you shatter glass quietly
and decides just to thrown flowers instead.
:) |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by girltranscended on
Monday, 11th April 2005 @ 10:35:23 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I stand at the edge of who you are, to
Whisper that I know it’s hard...
I see it there behind beveled glass that
Bends and stretches each time you laugh
These are really magnificent lines, and the title, don't get me started. I love it! It all works so well together. But did you notice, you are quiet either way?
*wonders how you shatter glass quietly
and decides just to throw flowers instead.
:) |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 04:22:34 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I wrote, not to long ago, a line that I think applies here ...
"Heart will whisper louder than a scream ..."
I hear you ...
Nazzy ~
( you knew I'd have to comment sooner or later ... right ? ) |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by fielding88 on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 12:05:56 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Bravo! *has never said 'bravo' before* This was a beautiful piece! The ending was so sincere and natural, it was all just flowing and I'm really impressed by the rhyming scheme most of all, because while I have seen it before, I've never seen it used so efficiently as sentences carried over so easily and it simply added to pulling me that much more into the whole idea of the poem. I'm really amazed by this write, it was truly something to admire, you should be more than proud of this one! Thank you bunches for writing it! *goes to read some more* |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 12:17:41 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Before i comment on your poem.
Hats off to your daughters approach
to bubblewrap! my kinda kid! lol!
What can I say about this piece
that hasn't been said before?
This is a well crafted piece that
I find increases in dramatic effect,
when read out loud.
An awesome piece.
Johnny. |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 25th April 2005 @ 11:43:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A very introspective piece. I am sure there are many that can relate to this as I can.
I feel like the "you" in this piece. It would be nice to know there are others out there that have confidence in me when I can't even see the bridge, much less be able to cross it. I can only hope that one day prhaps I will find myself on the other side.
You have the gift of allowing people to look into themselves through your words.
Excellent job! |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by dtborchert on
Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 04:00:21 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is incredible. You have capture the feeling perfectly. Hats off.
~Tena |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 20th June 2005 @ 04:47:19 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I, also . . . felt this. |
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Re: Eventually You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 04:26:56 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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It's beautiful, Snemmers. Simply beautiful. |
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