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Shatter into You
Contributed by
AtomicPromIse
on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 09:35:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Every time you touch me,
I want to fall into a pile of dust,
And blow away with one big gust,
Your hands scorch me when they touch my skin,
Soak it all down with a bottle of gin,
Repressing all my hate,
Ever since our first date!
I know you’ll never see this,
And I won’t tell-
That when I’m around you,
I feel like I’m in hell.
You’re not so attractive,
In a way you can’t see,
I know you better than yourself,
You’re not much better than me.
I’m just a catastrophe,
And you’re my tragedy,
I can’t hold on, I can’t hold on…
I can’t hold on to something I can’t feel,
My heart is where it shouldn’t be,
And my mind doesn’t matter,
With every moment my sins will shatter,
Shatter into you.
Copyright ©
AtomicPromIse
... [
2005-04-04 21:35:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Shatter into You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 09:39:51 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| This is a well written peice. It dosn't really sound mean, it just sounds like raw anger...something all of us have now and then. Nice write. |
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Re: Shatter into You
(User Rating: 1 )
by thepizzaguy on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 09:48:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I liked your poem, and I understand how sometimes you need to vent. I vent about my ex-girlfriend. I know you've already realized this, so I'm not trying to make you feel stupid, because I'm sure your a very bright person. You deserve better, and if your not happy in your relationship, then you should make a change to make yourself happy. Nice write! |
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Re: Shatter into You
(User Rating: 1 )
by FearMyRawr on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 10:04:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I agree with thepizzaguy, if after seeing your boyfriend, you don't have that spring in your step, he isn't worth it. Of course you could have just written this because he did something wrong, and if that be the case, completely ignore what I just said. Best of luck with him.
Oh, of course, it is a wonderful write. :) |
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