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Rambling About Life

Contributed by Steven_Fenton1982 on Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 03:35:29 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Life is hard, the falls are never cool,
and when you climb, they'll make you the fool.
Drugs are creative, they make you lie,
and when you jump, you see you just can't fly.

Turn through the pages of your life,
burn the paths you shouldn't have taken.
Drive over the chapters of your past,
crash the dreams that you've forsaken.

Before the tears fall, say a prayer.
Before the prayer ends, shed a tear.
Life is one big carousel, find your place.
Life is one big ride, just hold on tight.
You don't have to chase it,
and you don't have to fight it alone.

Copyright © Steven_Fenton1982 ... [ 2005-04-04 15:35:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Rambling About Life (User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on Thursday, 21st April 2005 @ 07:23:01 PM AEST
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Steven ... you were off to a good start with the first two stanzas ... why did you change ... the third one detracts from what you have begun. It almost seems like inspiration left and you rushed to throw something together, forcing the words ... I would have set the first two stanzas aside and come back to them at a later date and worked the third a little more.

But that is just my opinion ...

Nazmythian ~

Re: Rambling About Life (User Rating: 1 )
by Adonia_Donata on Thursday, 11th August 2005 @ 03:06:41 PM AEST
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The first couple stanzas were great! Love the thoughts in the last, and i love free style poetry, but try not to be abrupt.

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