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Roses Aren't Red
Contributed by
heartwaypastbeating
on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 02:46:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I crossed the street
and saw her standing there
peeking from the cracked concrete
alone in her self-conscious petals
a lovely white rose
looking not so lovely at all
I bent down to offer my consolement
I whispered into her damp colors
"trust me about this,
I know how you got here
and I know how you feel."
She just sat and quivered
like my reflection
I saw in the raindrops
but she hurried me along
said she was waiting,
waiting to be plucked up and taken home
and so that's where you'll find me
standing on your sidewalk
during that terrible storm
waiting for you take me home
yea, just take me home
Copyright ©
heartwaypastbeating
... [
2005-04-02 02:46:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Roses Aren't Red
(User Rating: 1 )
by humboldthunny17 on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 03:16:19 AM AEST
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a Message)
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good write. im sorry i can't write more, but right now my emotions are numb.
luv,cebre |
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Re: Roses Aren't Red
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 07:58:41 AM AEST
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| Interesting write. I love the imagery. The last stanza takes a turn rather abrutly, but somehow it works...nice job. |
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Re: Roses Aren't Red
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 08:12:27 AM AEST
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Hmm.. I agree with Jecks about the last Stanza.. I really didn't see that coming, but it did work really well.
I also love the imagery, as much as I love roses. lol.
Great write,
Phil |
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Re: Roses Aren't Red
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 09:11:31 AM AEST
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Ohh that was really good, you're use of imagery was outstanding.
The ending had a different turn than i expected. But i loved it
Jane |
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