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Juxtaposed
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 04:38:10 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trying hard to decipher
Those things that I'm feeling
In front of a fire
I am kneeling and pleading
Please won't you come
And take me away
From all of those things
That I've faced today
Whisper your melody
Deep in my ear
Till my body is numb
And you're all that I hear
Hold me against you now
Don't let me go
I need you beside me
I just want to know
That I'm not alone
I'm not alone
The voices they call me
From out of the dark
They spin through my mind
And they twist 'round my heart
They light up the shadows
I don't want to see
The things they reveal
That live inside of me
I want to go back
To the places before
Closing and locking
Securely each door
Laying decisively
Demons to rest
Leave memory behind
With no will to test
I stand here alone
For I am alone
Sheltered within the walls
Built 'round my heart
Afraid to let go
And yet fearing to start
The future is calling
Recollected refrain
The past slips in stealthy
Strangles the strain
And all the while I'm pulled
Between these extremes
Knowing quite well
What it is that this means
While I'm not alone ~
I'm still alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-03-31 04:38:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 05:58:07 AM AEST
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"I don't want to see
The things they reveal
That live inside of me
I want to go back
To the places before
Closing and locking
Securely each door
Laying decisively
Demons to rest
Leave memory behind
With no will to test
I stand here alone
For I am alone"
I know the feeling. Too well perhaps. Not wanting to look back... but you can't help it because your past has made you what you are today. If only we could go back and lock the doors of memories... wouldn't that be so perfect. But then you wouldn't be your, nor I would be me. We are shaped by our demons, a mold that will never be broken.
This was probably your most relatable peice to me. Thank you for sharing. And at least we can know we are not in the struggle alone... Loves it!!!
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 07:39:20 AM AEST
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Afraid to let go
And yet fearing to start
The future is calling
Recollected refrain
The past slips in stealthy
And strangles the strain
And all the while I'm pulled
Between these extremes
Knowing quite well
What it is that this means
While I'm not alone
Bloody good line, i think i could relate to those lines the best. This was extreamly emotive and yet it has a sense of making the reader feel every word you where saying.
I liked it a lot and thanks for sharing.
Jane |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 08:50:02 AM AEST
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wow, I was going to quote my fave bit, but I loved it all so much, equisit writing Nazzy,
pix xx |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 08:53:26 AM AEST
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Such sadness and desperation in this....and hope???
I like the flow anf the feel of this Nazzy, but I do hope you lose that feeling of aloneness soon! |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 09:27:44 AM AEST
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Oh...this is so heartbreaking...
That first stanza... it makes you seem so vulnerable, it's terrible.
This is the sort of poem, that makes a person go misty-eyed..
Great write,
Phil xxx |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 11:22:13 AM AEST
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A good day to drive by, eh?
I love the pain and anguish in this poem, only because lonliness is a place we ALL can relate to. I can't quote one favorite line, because then I would be writing the WHOLE poem. So this lil angel flew in just in time to see Nazzy...and give him this(((((Nazzy))))) because he needed it!!!!!! 0:-) Angel always my friend! ~joni~ |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 01:54:26 PM AEST
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ahh my friend, wouldnt it be wonderful if someone would " take us away" when the troubles of this life get to big for us to handle alone. Powerfully written.
I did notice a few slight rhythm " stutters" but in my humble opinion, sometimes the writer has to add a word or take one away, even at the expense of a "perfect" flow in order to get the full effect of what he wants to say. With that in mind, the extra beat fits perfectly. ;o)
Barkeep!!!
Larry
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 03:39:03 PM AEST
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Shall I just copy and paste the whole darn thing? Wonderful reflection and introspection. I wish I could express with such clarity.
Lovely.
mj |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 05:05:19 PM AEST
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Other than Edgar Allan poe's
The Lake, and Alone
which I relate to very deeply,
this may be the first poem
written by someone else which
brought tears to my eyes,
and for the same reasons.
--Ghosty
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Friday, 1st April 2005 @ 04:58:44 AM AEST
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Sheltered within the walls
Built 'round my heart
Afraid to let go
And yet fearing to start
The future is calling
Recollected refrain
The past slips in stealthy
Strangles the strain
And all the while I'm pulled
Between these extremes
Knowing quite well
What it is that this means
While I'm not alone ~
those are my favorite lines.
awsome job Nazzy.
hugs |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 11:55:27 AM AEST
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Wow....I am duly impressed with the talent just oozing out of everyone lately....great write and thanks for sharing!!
Carol |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 06:16:33 PM AEST
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Naz, If this poem is meant to be a true rendition of your current state of mind and emotion, I can say you are never completely alone. Yes alone without a committed relation ship, but certainly not without others who care. I pray that i'm not being presumptous here; and completely missing the point again.
A heartfelt write. Your faith will set you free.....
Willofree, Terry
PS Feel free to PM me at any time. If i'm off target, please let me know. |
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Re: Juxtaposed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 21st May 2005 @ 09:38:24 AM AEST
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| Well... considering some of your later writes, this seems to have been a lead-in. I hope your demons do rest. I seem to relate to the last two lines as much as anything else in this poem - at least most of the time, but probably in a different way than you felt them while writing. I hope your demons are sleeping. This was wayyy serious writing. Cheers. J. |
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