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Confined Emotions
Contributed by
shatteredreflection
on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 08:17:25 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
All my life my emotions were kept inside
Stuck within the tattered cobwebs of my mind
Trapped and contained, under lock and key
This unknown knowledge changed my life and how I see
Viewing the dark shadows of where I was before
Emotions are trapped behind a closed door
No cracks anywhere through which they could leak
Try and open my mouth but I can't even speak
No words escape, expected silence that no one can hear
In my head everything's written and explained so clear
But I don't have a soul, it's confined and deranged
Hating myself for knowing the past can't be changed
But what's written here is nothing compared to the movie that keeps playing in my head
The secrets of my past have been consumed within my mind, and will stay there and collect dust until I am dead
Copyright ©
shatteredreflection
... [
2005-03-30 20:17:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Confined Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by hotrod55 on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 08:20:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| GREAT JOB i would clap but i would look like and idiot very great job |
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Re: Confined Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by kidpoet_213 on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 08:57:36 PM AEST
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Great poem! Wonderfully witten. The last line kinda throws me though as I read it... I know u rhymed it with head... but... this is only a suggestion... I think it would be better if u rhymed it with mind instead. Also try splitting the last line in two... something like:
The secrets of my past have been consumed within my mind
And will stay there and collect dust until I am dead (at the end of time.)
his is just a suggestion... u did a fantastic job... keep up the good work.
~Donna~
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Re: Confined Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Evilnn on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 09:16:09 PM AEST
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Oh Shattered!! what a great job
I think it's perfect the way it is!!!
My God-I can relate so much it hurts me to even read it
Great Job
Take care U
Eve
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Re: Confined Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 10:45:32 PM AEST
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| amazing write, i too relate to this a lot. |
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Re: Confined Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by skadmatrix on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 12:19:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| VARY good wirte, i really liked it, i feel alot like that sometimes, but it was a good read, it flowed wile i was reading it |
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