|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
lie in bed
Contributed by
electrique_poet
on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 02:00:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
lie in bed
vacantly stare at false screen;
a day and a half for(ever me
lie in bed
with the door sealed off;
no one to prattle on with or without
lie in bed
relax into grayness;
seems to be such a novel idea
lie in bed
dream the sweetest dream;
weltering waters smother me
lying in bed
i dream the sweetest dream;
unable to conceptualize her image (as
we always search for ouselves within the one
we love; to hate
(myself; lie or despondency (in bed)
Copyright ©
electrique_poet
... [
2005-03-30 02:00:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: lie in bed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 06:22:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Very interesting write. Nonetheless, I enjoyed it immensely. Great Work. Five stars from me. :-) |
|
|
Re: lie in bed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 11:59:24 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
An unearthly piece!
An incredulous incorporation of literal and figurative expression!
“Vacantly stare at false screen;”
-There is so much thought and consideration and surmise behind this very sentence.
Is it the television to which you refer to as ‘false screen’?
A twisted notion, most intriguing!
“Relax into greyness;
seems to be such a novel idea”
-Novel, indeed!
Greyness… usually represents obscurity…is this what you are attempting to portray.
“Lie in bed
dream the sweetest dream;
weltering waters smother me
lying in bed
I dream the sweetest dream;
unable to conceptualize her image (as…”
-Again, I notice the signature contrast.
Beautiful detail, as well as imagery, particularly in line 3 –‘weltering waters smother me’.
“We always search for ourselves within the one
we love; to hate
(myself; lie or despondency (in bed)”
Indeed, I can most relate to this love-hate relationship with myself as well as with others in whom I see myself within… For better or worse!
O’ what an outstanding and most thought conjuring epilogue.
A clever muse, overall!
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
