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I'm Calling It 'Poem'
Contributed by
liquidsunshine
on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 08:06:47 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My corner of the earth has shifted
Sunken
And the rest is all above my head
I've sunken eighty feet below all I see ahead is
Walls of dirt, the earth's crust and rocky surface
High above the green grass dangles it's disheveled, ripped-up roots above me
Behind is faded landscape of the places I've once been
Some places I don't care to see
And some I'd love to reach again
Looking all around me all I see pangs my heart so
Like I'm tainted and it's taunting
And I can't ever let go
As if I'd want to--no, I cling to
All these memories in me
But I feel I can't reach that grass that's eighty feet above my head
If I don't leave that land behind me
Climb straight up there, clear my head
But there's nothing to abandon
--All that land's a part of me
I have traveled, farmed and seen it
--It's become MY scenery
So I stand here eighty feet down and I crumple to the floor
Waterfalls cascade in teardrops in my land of once before
I don't want it but I need it
But I just need to move riht on
While the birds sing high above
They fly above the dangling grass
And the earthy mud I squander in squelches loud, unpleasantly
Drawing tears from deep inside me that I just don't want to see
I can't walk, the mud has glued my sneakers
Up to the ankles in muck
And so even if I want to move
I'd get nowhere cause I'm stuck
I can't see him but I feel him,
My sweet love
Lost in the dark
How I long to help him, see him
And unbreak his breaking heart
We're both dying while we're crying
In these our murky, muddy caves
But in darkness I am blinded
And there's no one I can save
I don't want to sleep in silence
For I'll drown in murky muck
If I die he'll be beside me
For there's nothing else can work
But I'm sleepy
And I'm cranky
But I just cannot give in
Cause there's nothing real of waking
Here I'd rot inside my skin
And I need him right beside me
More than one could understand
And I won't go sleep in silence
Til I know that we both can
But he's got to be right next to me
And if not my rage will kill
Cause I'll sleep when he's beside me
But without him neither will
They can't close the doors to Heaven
Til we walk through hand in hand
And if he's hurt someone must help me
Cause nobody hurts my man
But I'm chained down to this puddle
In this murky mucky mud
Get me out of here!
I need him so!
I can't move on or let him go!
They're pulling him away in chains
And handcuffed to a truck
And all I can do is roll around
All dirty covered in our filthy muck
There's no going here or moving there
As the freeze frame of the stationary truck takes my baby away
"But he's my love!"
Although that doesn't matter here
I shout it--scream it anyway
As the stationary truck pulls him tightly, crying away
I'm in motion
Kicking
Screaming
Writhing around in the muck
And there's nowhere to go
Cause I can't look back,
I can't reach him,
I'm chained to my mud
And there's nowhere to go but up
Even though I can't get there without
All that
And I especially can't get there without him
And without knowing we're both okay
So I writhe in the muck
And watch his frozen truck
And can't go back
And I won't move up while it's pulling my baby away
Copyright ©
liquidsunshine
... [
2005-03-28 08:06:47]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I'm Calling It 'Poem'
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 08:34:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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but in darkness i am blinded and there's no
one i can save . . . this is a beautifuly written
deeply dedicated peice of writting . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: I'm Calling It 'Poem'
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 08:37:58 AM AEST
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An emotive write, i liked this. It's very descriptive on what you're trying to say.
Good write Chels.
Jane |
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Re: I'm Calling It 'Poem'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 09:09:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Great write, very descriptive |
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Re: I'm Calling It 'Poem'
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 10:00:39 AM AEST
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Woah Chels...I love the last few Stanza's they really do work and flow well.
These parts are my favourites though:
"Looking all around me all I see pangs my heart so
Like I'm tainted and it's taunting
And I can't ever let go
As if I'd want to--no, I cling to
All these memories in me"
and:
"So I stand here eighty feet down and I crumple to the floor
Waterfalls cascade in teardrops in my land of once before"
Stunning write, my friend.
Phil
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Re: I'm Calling It 'Poem'
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Saturday, 13th August 2005 @ 01:23:38 AM AEST
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I really liked it. I guess my favorite lines ar¨:
And I won't go sleep in silence
Til I know that we both can
They speak of true devotion in a beautiful way.
Take care.
David |
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