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Pills and Pollution
Contributed by
In_a_While
on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 08:01:54 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I sort all the rain, stick sap in my vein
A mother is cold to the touch
Piece by piece i release
Recipes for disease
Another who can't feel too much
Are u with me as one? Do you dare face the fun?
Then gather like moths to a flame
Recreate my fake hate, as i complicate
Melting a day in the rain
Now time to soothe...
I'm not gravy, i'm just what you made me
The product of pills and pollution
Why try to save me, when i sing so gravely
My silence is someone's solution
Hand me gun, for some thunderous fun
Then clap to what's dead in a see
Up up in the sun, love burns everyone
These wings melt better than with me
Copyright ©
In_a_While
... [
2005-03-28 08:01:54]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pills and Pollution
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 08:49:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I do like.
"love burns everyone"
true.
Nice write. |
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Re: Pills and Pollution
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 09:11:31 AM AEST
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| Well done |
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Re: Pills and Pollution
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 10:03:03 AM AEST
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"I sort all the rain, stick sap in my vein
A mother is cold to the touch
Piece by piece i release
Recipes for disease
Another who can't feel too much"
I like that.
The only other thing I can say is that your poem yould probably be better if you write 'You' not 'U'
Phil |
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Re: Pills and Pollution
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kay-Kay on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 03:07:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
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great poem i like the way you compare things to your poetry nice work keep it up
~Kay-Kay |
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