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Old Leather Belt
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 09:33:47 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
In this house that is not a home
I’m trapped in a fake world all alone
Forced to live someone else’s life
Forced to endure so much pain and strife
So many expectations melted into me
Wanting me to change into someone I could never be
And I will always remember the welts on my sides
Never forgetting how I’d run and hide
Painfully looking back to how you’d keep me afraid
Forever regretting the mistakes I have made
And having to remember that look on your face
So disappointed, my pulse increasing in pace
Tears pouring down, as you’d step up
Telling me I would never be good enough
Feeling the sting of your old leather belt
Rubbing my hand over my newly earned welt
My heart racing every time you speak
You taking advantage of knowing I’m weak
And even Mother’s tears made not a difference
I’d never be able to make a resistance
The wrath of you, my Father, broke me in two
Having to live knowing I’m just disappointment to you
With bloody tears running down my cheeks
My Mother too afraid to even speak
Up on the mantle sat your old leather belt
I’ll never forget all the shame that I felt
You’d stand so tall over me in all that you know
I’d feel so intimidated in your cold shadow
And although it has been almost four years
I can still feel the burn of my shallow tears
And I’m still afraid of you, of what you did
I still feel so small, like such a disappointment
And I’m still sorry, Father, for everything
I’m sorry for being so disappointing
For not being able to stand up for Mother
For not refusing, for hating you, Father
Now you ask for my forgiveness and love
After apologizing for everything you have done
But I’m still afraid, Daddy, I’m still all alone
I’m so sorry, Daddy, but you’re on your own
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-03-27 21:33:47] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Old Leather Belt
(User Rating: 1 ) by Evilnn on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 10:39:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Oh Angel, Im so sorry for the pain you went through. I myself lived in a house of pain and I still have nightmares. I hope you realize that you are important and not a disappointment. No child deserves to live in constant fear. I hope you are doing better now. try to let the past go- I know that's easier said than done, but hang in there and keep writing- you are very talented!!!
Take care Blue Angel!!
Eve
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Re: Old Leather Belt
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jaycee on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 08:00:57 PM AEST (User
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What can I say that would even do justice to this? Well, apologies are pretty empty at this point, so your Dad deserves an aboslutre frosty shoulder. I agree with the previous poster - annoying that you can see the other comments when commenting yourself - that you did nothing to deserve this. Your Dad? Well, he deserves 10 to 20 (at least). There is no excuse for what he did to you. I can only hope that your life is safer and gives you time to sort stuff out and heal. |
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