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When I Say Goodbye
Contributed by
thepizzaguy
on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 05:04:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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So here I find myself again
Drinking a Pepsi in my houses den
Watching the grad party that's been thrown for me
Wondering for two hours, where you have been
This life has nothing left for me
And my future is getting clearer to see
Sometimes I sit alone and wonder
What exactly am I going to be?
As it gets later I wonder if you'll come
By now my smile has faded into a glum
expression that I can't get off of my face
I'm losing hope, nervously chewing my gum
And then you arrive, looking so beautiful
Nothing rhymes with beautiful
Looking into your eyes,
on my heart, I drop my guard
Why does this goodbye have to be so hard?
Copyright ©
thepizzaguy
... [
2005-03-27 17:04:35] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: When I Say Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 ) by Dark_Oleander on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 05:19:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Well..its kinda like you threw any word you could think of that actually ryhmed....Therefore
It wasnt very good.
You dont have to ryhme.
but w/e.
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Re: When I Say Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 ) by xxbreathlessx on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 06:30:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i think the poem was - cute. maybe some more emotion? or a different choice of words can help it become better but good write! |
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Re: When I Say Goodbye
(User Rating: 1 ) by Kie on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 09:09:09 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I personally think you expressed what you are presently feeling well. Keep writing and never let set backs get you down.
Even though I am past college, I do remember what it was like my senior year at hs---worrying about the what if's. But then I set my eyes on a goal and I made it!
If you dedicate yourself to college, to obtaining whatever degree, believe me it will keep you busy.
Then when you come back, think how proud all will be of your accomplishments.
Good luck to the future...
Kie |
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