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The Lonely Girl
Contributed by
pixie
on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 12:14:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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The lonely girl she just sits & stares,
Of our reality I think she is unaware,
With a blank expression upon her little face,
Alone she sits & just stares off into space.
Troubles written across her brow,
She wants to be happy but doesn’t know how,
She drifts into her own little world,
Everyone stares but avoids the lonely girl.
They whisper about her behind her back,
It is confidence not hearing that she lacks,
Everything that’s said she hears,
The insults feel like poison to her ears.
Now she sits and plots her revenge so sweet,
She looks around and gets to her feet,
Walks home to be by herself,
Where no-one can mock her ill mental health.
The next day she comes into school,
She acts with a nature that’s sadistic and cruel,
Killing anyone who crosses her path,
Seeing their blood just makes her laugh.
All those years of being the victim,
Made her sanity wear so thin,
The bullies got a taste of their own medicine,
Never will they be able to torment anyone again.
Copyright ©
pixie
... [
2005-03-27 12:14:18] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by pander on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 12:27:27 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Wow! What a great story! It starts dark and gets darker!
I absolutely loved this one Pixie!
Pander
xxxx |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by girltranscended on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 12:32:21 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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well, from a self-described lonley-girl and lover of revenge tales herself I would just like to say that this was very nice. I especially enjoyed:
"They whisper about her behind her back,
It is confidence not hearing that she lacks"
O.K and now re-reading need to mention this stanza too:
"Troubles written across her brow,
She wants to be happy but doesn’t know how,
She drifts into her own little world,
Everyone stares but avoids the lonely girl."
My bully was killed in a high speed chase with police just after high school so my revenge never had to come to this. Good thing, although, there is some one else who still ways heavy on the mind...
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by DorianChambers on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 01:18:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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BRA VO 4 HER AND 4 U ANOTHER WRITE
OF DISTINCTION **********
DORIAN CHAMBERS |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by mina-1 on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 04:13:01 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A very well written piece of poetry portrayed so well. Great job Pix
Hugs,
Sue |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by In_a_while on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 05:33:21 PM AEST (User
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Very powerful and thought provoking. I too liked the spiralling descent into violence and revenge. Great job and keep it coming. |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by In_a_while on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 05:34:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very powerful and thought provoking. I too liked the spiralling descent into violence and revenge. Great job and keep it coming. |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by NightOwl on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 06:32:05 PM AEST (User
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Awesome job! It really puts a face on those who are bullied and who turn to killing... they are the victims, just as much as those they kill. So dark! I love it!
*~Erin~* |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 01:55:57 AM AEST (User
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All this happens in her mind's world!!!... Any way this is a fantastic description..:-) venkat |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 09:09:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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What a dark write, i love this tons.
Sorry for not commenting lately, LOL
Jane |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by xrockstheheart on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 02:22:36 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hola, I have posted an idea in the forum. and that is for all to comment on the previous and next poem. I don't know this may be a bad idea. but here it goes, my poem didn't not get as warm a reception as yours. I like your theme but I think the poetics are not as strong as they should be. I'm off now to comment on the next poem. I will be posting today. |
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Re: The Lonely Girl
(User Rating: 1 ) by MasterJ on
Monday, 30th May 2005 @ 09:35:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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yo wut up
keep your chin up
tomorrows a new day
get involved
you cant just sit down and not play
yo learn from your mistakes
nottin else
today, tomorrow
you got to get started
of getting your life back
dont be the one will pay
dont keep this grudge on your shoulder forever
life is too short,
to sit down and do nottin
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