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The End of It All
Contributed by
The_Callif
on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 12:31:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It was the saddest of all sorts, my dream
About deppression, hunger, it would seem
I dreamt the world came to an end
The sadness you cannot comprehend
But me, alone, standing there in space
I felt no sadness for the loss of this place
I felt no loss of friends or foes
I felt no anger, felt no woes
Could it be I thought we deserved this
To end this state of infernal bliss
The madness, fighting, and disgust
This world must end, and end it must
Copyright ©
The_Callif
... [
2005-03-26 00:31:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The End of It All
(User Rating: 1 )
by girltranscended on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 01:20:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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O.K. LOVED IT! Loved how it speeds up at
" felt no loss of friends or foes
I felt no anger, felt no woes"
and then slows again. I love how the rhymes don't stand out or seem forced. I can really say I like every line, and your last especially rocks.
I would suggest putting in some punctuation. That way it will be clearer what lines you want to wrap around.
IMO this was an interesting and well written poem! Great job!!!! ;) |
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Re: The End of It All
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Saturday, 26th March 2005 @ 09:23:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is an outstanding piece of poerty so well written and expressed. I can so much relate to ur poem cos I feel like this alot of times.
An excellent write. Well down.
Hugs,
Sue |
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Re: The End of It All
(User Rating: 1 )
by loveisendless on
Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 01:11:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
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So what you're trying to say,the world would be better off-DEAD! A very interesting way to think about it!! If you're dead,then there's nothing to fear,becuz everything is gone,including yourself!!! Sometimes I think you're right!!!! COOL POEM-GREAT POINT OF VIEW!!!!!
DAN!!!!!! |
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