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LAST CHANCE
Contributed by
THUGGIN4REAL
on
Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 07:54:08 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
LORD , I PAID MY DUES AT ALL COSTS.
CAN YOU STILL SAVE ME , CAUSE I KNOW I'M STILL LOST.
I'D BEEN CROSSED , HOW COULD YOU GIVE THEM SO MUCH SLACK?
YOU KNOW I WON'T ASK FOR MUCH , BUT CAN YOU WATCH MY BACK?
MY EYES ARE DRY LORD , THEY HOLD NOMORE TEARS.
YOU MY LORD , ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT I FEAR.
REVENAGE IS ALL THATS LEFT FOR ME TO GAIN.
SO TELL ME LORD , CAN YOU REALLY FEEL MY PAIN?
I LOST SOME THUGGS TO SOME HEARTLESS SLUGGS
AND ALL I WANTED LORD , WAS YOUR HUGS.
MY LIFE IS OVER , I KNOW I'M BLEEDING THROUGH , SO WHY DO I FEEL LIKE ITS TOO LATE TO FOLLOW YOU
Copyright ©
THUGGIN4REAL
... [
2005-03-24 19:54:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by nativesunflower4 on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 01:53:52 PM AEST
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| I love this write!!!! Everyday is a battle in the world and a test in your faith. I felt your emotions here...Will be reading more of your stuff!!! |
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by reflections on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 04:30:17 PM AEST
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Your poetry is very reflective of those I have dealt with for many years. Street people, young people, different shapes, sizes, nationalities, and professions with sidelines. I don’t write dark poems, but do write some angry pieces. I do, however, understand where most are coming from (or heading too).
I see most dark poets as those who would like to be as mainstream as possible, but for some reason lack the ability to believe they would be accepted. Maybe because of some past or present misdeed or misunderstanding. Some believe they are looked down on by others. Real or not this plays games with their self esteem. Even in this poem you want God to accept your love, but are unsure if He may have allowed bad things to happen to you because He didn’t watch your back. You state that your feelings are that it may be too late for you and Him.
Your method of expressing yourself is as honest and as well worded as any I’ve seen. Whatever works for you to communicate with others of like mind, or loves, is THE best way.
I would suggest that you stay away from dream worlds. You can easily get mired down (even lost) in such a convoluted maze of half thoughts and unbridled emotions.
Stay with what you know best. What you like most. Those you love, or, would like to love. Sprinkle all that with a bit of actual experiences. Occasionally, top off a good tale with a little fictional fabrication (half-truth or lies) just for the sake of a story. Will also prevent others from completely figuring you out and categorizing you as a poet.
All in all you have good tools, a straight forward ideology, and surely, enough tales to entrance people, who read, for long periods at a time.
Hope this is what you expected when you ask me to read this piece. Regardless, I enjoyed it and will read and comment again. Cheers.
John
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 04:34:45 PM AEST
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Thugg4real
Great ! I can almost feel the bullet. Bleeding through
So why do I feel its too late to follow You
This last line really shows how despertly lost you feel.
But then God is suppose to be all love all just and all fair--so then there is still reason for hope. :)
Again good jobon this. Sinned
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 04:51:13 PM AEST
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| you have so much talent! the words really flowed together, and it really helped express your beliefs and emotions....great job!! |
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 11:32:25 PM AEST
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wow an amazing piece you wrote.
well done.
Oh by the way how come you were calling me ma? |
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ninnyfarfar on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 11:42:54 AM AEST
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i thought it was a great write, keep it up!
Ninny =) |
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by ScreenSaver77 on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 03:37:35 PM AEST
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Well done on this poem, I like it. It really shows how you felt at the time of writing. Well written...
Best Wishes
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Snuggles on
Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 06:54:13 PM AEST
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| that is really deep i like it |
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Re: LAST CHANCE
(User Rating: 1 )
by Poetic_Influence on
Tuesday, 31st January 2006 @ 10:36:02 AM AEST
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| its never to late for follow him trust, even if it feelz like ya at ur worst, hes still there |
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