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you. You! YOU!!
Contributed by
elayner27
on
Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 02:17:06 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
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I'm laying in this silent room.
Thoughts of you consume.
Four feet away from my doom,
And there I loom.
I can't be around you.
I'm staying outta your view.
I don't wanna know what's true,
Or who's with who.
You think I don't care.
Your my biggest nightmare.
Nothing can compair,
To you being nowhere.
I know you don't care.
Your not aware,
Of all my despair.
All away somewhere.
Copyright ©
elayner27
... [
2005-03-24 14:17:06] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: you. You! YOU!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by ruthie1983 on
Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 02:39:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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short and heartfelr poem. good job |
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Re: you. You! YOU!!
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 09:55:21 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I like this, the only thing I think you need to work on is the last stanza, it almost seems like the 3rd stanza, swapped around.
Anyway, good write otherwise,
Phil |
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