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I Have To Go

Contributed by Pats4eva7 on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 12:09:58 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide



I've never felt this ache,
That burns me deep within.
I've never had this sensation,
Sailing smoothly across my skin.

This new coping mechanism,
Releases all my inner pain.
Maybe all the hurt would fade,
If I could reach that vein.

Do you think the voices would stop?
Do you think the thoughts would go away?
No, no matter how deep I cut,
The pain will always stay.

If cutting doesn't help,
Then why continue the harm?
Maybe because I like to see the blood,
Trickle down my arm!

For years I've caused inner torture,
It's about time I pay.
For a breif second I can't feel the ache,
But I know the pain is here to stay.

People wonder why I mutilate my outsides,
Why I want to end my life.
Well, no one really knows,
My reality of the knife.

You think my arm's a mess,
If only you could see my heart.
It's endured years of hurt,
It's mangled and torn apart.

I've stitched it up time and time again,
But the stiches always fall loose.
So I gave on on healing,
What's the damn use?

I more I try and fix it,
The more I want to die.
Everytime I try and stop the madness,
I always seem to cry.

I hate knowing this is my life,
And that there's no get better pill.
While all of you bathe in the light,
I'll be lost in the darkness still.

There's nothing right about me,
Everything is all wrong.
So that I why I have to say,
Goodbye world, so long.




Copyright © Pats4eva7 ... [ 2005-03-24 00:09:58]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by 307luvs09 on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 12:16:11 AM AEST
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wow young lady . this is sOOO serious. I like the way you take the reader through your logic. I was intrigued the whole way through. Keep up the good work. I will look out for your poetry you have true talent


Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by write_whenit_hurts on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 12:17:30 AM AEST
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awesome poem! i can feel the emotion coming from that! i can also relate to that completely, that's a very breathtaking slap in the face for those who don't understand. keep up the good work and don't ever give up on this, ur very good!

xoxo,
bRiAnNa


Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by b_rand on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 12:19:11 AM AEST
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i think you need to stay just to keep putting out poetry like this. you have incredible talent. just build on it


Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 12:37:24 AM AEST
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I know life is hard at best. we all get tired sometimes and wonna give up but u r such a good writer. Is that not reason enuff to stay?
God forgives u even before u do wrong but the hardest part is forgiving yourself.
I really don't know any thing about u but I know ur jus as importent in this life as me or any one else.
Please give it another try but let God do the fixing up. He's always with u. Ya jus gotta believe that he luvs u too. that's all god wants from any of us is to luv ourselves then luv others.
I don't do chuch but I know Jesus made us all equal. He jus wants u to know and belive he luvs u.
I will put u in my prayers so look for some good changes in your inner self.
Prayer, faith, hope, peace, joy,
emy
p.m. me any time.
huggs


Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by dreaming-of-your-love on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 08:03:56 AM AEST
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i love reading this it was very good and i can relate to your pain



Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by TheSpiritx on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 11:29:08 AM AEST
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Thanks for posting. I have hit a hard time in my life, myself, and I am seeking consolation in the fact that others feel much like I do now and have turned their pain into creativity in the arts.

I hope that these emotions don't find you again, though, I know that it is possible they might. If they ever do, please remember the good times.


Re: I Have To Go (User Rating: 1 )
by SimplyMe on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 02:39:39 PM AEST
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Wow.. this poem touched the inner most deepest parts of my heart. I've never actually picked up a Razor or a knife. But i have been suicidal time and time again. The pain always seems to stick, following you thoughout your life. Reminding you of the things you know were wrong. I honestly don't know if i'm making any sense, but i thought i'd take the time to say. Your not alone. I hope things get better for you soon. Much love.

~Alucia~




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