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Through the Whispers

Contributed by Kay-Kay on Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 02:14:08 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

I get this dull feeling like a shadow covers me.
A film goes over me eyes and makes me unable to see.
My mind is completely blank i can't remember a thing.
This same thing keeps happening as if my life's a ring.
My ears are filled with silence yet i hear a muffled sound.
Chatter through the whispers going all around.
I can't make out the words they are much too soft.
I try my best to listen but my mind just switches off.
There is something that i'm not supposed to hear.
Or maybe i'm just thinking this or this could just be a fear.
I hear the clap of thunder from the dark and stormy sky.
I can not see the lightning but i can not open my eyes.
A gentle breeze blows past and carries the whispers along.
I hear the wind just perfect just like it is playing a song.
But to the whispers i am deaf that's what i don't understand.
I try to make my body listen but it won't take any commands.
I tell my mind to open up and let me hear and see straight.
I open up my eyes and see this heavenly gate.

Copyright © Kay-Kay ... [ 2005-03-23 14:14:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Through the Whispers (User Rating: 1 )
by b_rand on Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 03:12:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

the basis for this poem is awesome, but your rhyme scheme needs some serious work. keep workin at it, you'll get there

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