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strolling slowly
Contributed by
electrique_poet
on
Tuesday, 22nd March 2005 @ 05:38:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
strolling slowly
meandering around the sun(shine;
as concrete pillars inviting me
to stumble upon melting asphalt (i as interpretation
talking in painful convictions with parched
eyes;
i could spell fear a million different ways with her hair in my
hands
but the doctor said ive a shyness complex
coupled with a self esteem deficiency
drastically impairing
judgments based on intuition;
(in other words i can only say as i think nothing)
and my prescription;
take two sugar pills daily and listen as
the lost echo shrills within) i am
its a shame my face is blank, or i would show you how i
frown (drown in
oblivion
Copyright ©
electrique_poet
... [
2005-03-22 17:38:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: strolling slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Wednesday, 23rd March 2005 @ 04:23:12 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This is so good! wow, I am impressed, mainly because your poetry, feels to me, very precise and mature, like you are perfectly saying, what you are trying to say. You are definitely one of my favorite poets on this site. I really just love the way you use your words.....your poetry touches on something that I cannot quite define, which I think I have told you before, but the more I read your poetry, the more it touches that spot. Your poetry is high quality, like something to be read in a book, studied even, there is depth in its simplicity, you don't rattle on and on, you have a certain thing you are trying to express, and you do it effectively. I, on the other hand, am a rambler, which is not a bad thing, and so as a rambler, I usually have no idea what I am trying to express, which makes my poetry not as precise as yours. I just end up writing whatever comes out of my brain. I like that style because it allows me to be as creative as possible, and a quality of depth comes through, unexpectedly. However some people might call it "nonsense", but i think it has its benifits. I like your poetry, because it is not like that at all, and it is very unique to your voice, and it is good, for different reasons.
Also, it's too bad that your poetry doesn't receive very many comments. I think that it is so good that it goes over most people's heads.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: strolling slowly
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bianca on
Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 08:52:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow, i really like this! it taps into the lonliness of uncertainty and awkwardness. i like the calming lull of your phrasing; it makes the meaning more effective after one reads it. |
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